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424 - "Manos" the Hands of Fate (with Hired! Part 2)
"Manos, the Hands of Fate" is considered by the makers of MST3K to be
"far and away the most loathsome, repulsive, unpleasantest, vilest, ickyest,
blechiest" movie they ever had to watch. Indeed, this is one of those rare
films in which EVERY aspect is poorly done: plot, dialogue, acting,
lighting, directing, sets, costumes, make-up, everything. Furthermore, with
its creepy, unsettling ideas, it would still be disgusting even if it were
well-made.
MST #424, then, is a landmark episode. Not only do Joel and the 'Bots show
serious signs of breaking under the pressure, but Forrester and
Frank actually apologize for sending such a bad movie! If you do nothing
else today, or for the rest of your life, we urge you to go to THIS
SITE and read all about the making of the movie "Manos, the Hands of
Fate."
You'll be, um, glad you did.
HOST SEGMENTS:
"Did you see ANDY CAPP today? He came home after being out all night..." - A comic strip from England, where alcoholism and loveless marriages are apparently a bit funnier than they are here. Andy Capp is a worthless husband who drinks, cheats on his wife Flo, and is usually unemployed. Flo does all the work, both in and out of the house. Occasionally funny, but so bitter and hateful underneath the surface, it's hard to enjoy it. Reg Smythe draws it."Every blissful second with you is like an APPLE OF GOLD." - This may be from a chapter of Greek mythology. Seems that Eris, the goddess of discord (these people had gods even for BAD things, like discord, and flatulence) was peeved that all the other gods were having a party. She threw a golden apple into the middle of the party with the words "to the fairest" inscribed on it. Three of the goddesses, each thinking that she was the most beautiful and therefore entitled to the gold fruit, claimed it. Trojan prince Paris had to decide which goddess was prettiest, and his choice of Aphrodite is what led to the Trojan War.
BLONDIE - First appeared in the 1930s, created by Chic Young. Blondie is the wife, but the main character seems to be Dagwood, who is fond of eating huge sandwiches and taking naps and being late for work and running into the mailman. (Whose mailman comes at 8:00 in the morning? I mean, come on.) The strip, like most comics, has not changed at all in the last sixty years, except recently, when Blondie finally got out of the house and opened a catering business. This was such a traumatic event that she and Dagwood had to see a marriage counselor (that's true!).
"You see this BUTT? Kick this butt." - Paul Shaffer in "This is Spinal Tap" (1984). The original line was "You see this a**? Kick this a**." Crow cleaned it up a bit.
CATHY - Cathy Guisewite's comic strip about a typical '90s career woman, Cathy, who has trouble with love and diets and trying on bathing suits. Chicks dig it.
"Let them eat CHOCOLATE." - Originally "Let them eat cake." It is often attributed to Marie Antoinette of France, but she did not say it. The actual source is "Confessions" by Rousseau, in which a snotty princess says it when told that her peasants cannot afford to buy bread. It's not known how the quote came to be attributed to Antoinette, but it's certainly indicative of her attitude, even if she never really said it.
"CRATE AND BARREL are calling." - Crate & Barrel is a national chain of stores specializing in things like dishes, pottery, and the like. No real reason to mention it here, of course; just Joel being silly.
"Let me just get your complimentary CRAZY BREAD." - Trademark product from Little Caesar's Pizza, though most places have some kind of imitation. If this is really Crazy Bread, then that means Torgo works for Little Caesar's -- or else Torgo's Pizza is in for a copyright infringement lawsuit.
FAMILY CIRCUS - Bil Keane's adorable little comic strip where all the action takes place inside one circle, rather than a series of panels. Features four little kids and a mom and dad. Usually more "cute" than "funny." Sunday version often features a bird's-eye view of a particular part of the neighborhood, with a dotted line showing young Billy's path over the course of the day.
"What about the pardon from FANNY FARMER?" - Fanny Farmer Candies and its sister company Fannie May Candies have stores all over the eastern United States. Fanny Farmer was actually a real person, though her name was spelled Fannie. She was the leading authority on cooking in her day (that day being the late 1800s), and in fact she was the person who introduced precise measurement -- teaspoons, cups, etc. -- into cooking. Really. It seems odd that someone would have to introduce the idea of doing things properly -- I mean, you don't hear about the guy who decided that ALL miles, not just some of them, would be 5,280 feet long -- but nonetheless, we cannot change history. In 1919, Frank O'Connor opened his first candy shop, in Rochester, New York, and named it in honor of Fannie Farmer, except he misspelled her name "Fanny."
The FAR SIDE - Odd, one-panel comic strip by Gary Larson that ran from Jan. 1, 1980 until sometime in the early '90s. A great cartoon by itself, but also important because it inspired a whole slew of similar strips. Many of these were mere copycats, but many others were legitimately funny on their own and had simply needed Larson to lead the way to make it safe for them to appear.
"This is a bug hunt, man, a bug hunt. GAME OVER, man, game over!" - Bill Paxton line from 1986 film "Aliens," the sci-fi sequel to 1979's "Alien," both starring Sigourney Weaver.
"Ziggy had GARFIELD neutered." - Ziggy is the one-named, odd-shaped little man muddling his way through life in single-panel cartoons drawn by Tom Wilson since 1971; Garfield is the fat, lasagna-eating cat in comic strips and animated TV series, created in 1978 by Jim Davis.
"You look like Maude with a hellbeast." "You mean Estelle GETTY." - Estelle Getty co starred with Bea Arthur (who had played Maude in "Maude") on "The Golden Girls" (1985-1992). Getty also appeared with Sylvester Stallone in the film "Stop! or My Mom Will Shoot" (1992).
"Carmel corn's ready. Do you want it in your LITTLE MERMAID bowl?" - 1989 Disney hit film. Rejuvenated the stale animation branch of the Disney company, leading to such hits as "Beauty and the Beast," "Aladdin," and "The Lion King." And have you seen "Hercules" yet? Oh, it's just fabulous.
The LOCKHORNS - Comic strip about a bickering married couple. Not quite as bitter as "Andy Capp," but still fairly hateful. Plays mostly on stereotypes, e.g., Mrs. Lockhorn is a terrible driver (she's a woman, you see). Written and drawn by Bunny Hoest and John Reiner, who are also responsible for the occasionally funny cartoons at the back of "Parade" magazine on Sundays.
"You look like MAUDE." - Maude was Bea Arthur's title character in the hit 1972 1978 series. The show featured controversial subjects and strong opinions, just like its parent, "All in the Family," of which it was a spin-off. Maude often wore big, flowing gowns like the one Joel's wearing here.
"Even got one for my MENTOS." - European candy made famous in this country by its cheesy, stupid commercials in which young people do ingenious things in the face of Authority, chomping Mentos all the way. For a very amusing summary of all the Mentos commercial plots, check out http://www.eskimo.com/~icebrkr/freshmaker.html.
"We survived 'MONSTER A-GO-GO,' we can survive this." - MST #420. Next to "Manos," perhaps the worst movie ever MST'ed. (This will draw arguments from many people, but I stand by it.)
"Roger PENROSE on his best day isn't half as brilliant, or as charming as you, I might add." - Author, cognitive scientist, physicist, mathematician, all-around smart guy. Our correspondent tells us that Penrose "suggested in 1989's "The Emperor's New Mind" that a successful materialist explanation of the phenomena of consciousness would require a revolution in the physical sciences." This makes no sense to us, and we're not exactly chimps. Penrose was recently knighted for his work in mathematics. One of his major accomplishments was to create a way of covering a surface with tiles so that there are no gaps, no overlaps, AND the tiles are in a non-repeating pattern. (In other words, just using squares, like a normal person, wouldn't work.)
MARK TRAIL - Drawn by Jack Elrod, Mark Trail is an adventurous outdoors-type guy who goes around doing stuff. I don't know, I never read it.
"ZIGGY had Garfield neutered." - Ziggy is the one-named, odd-shaped little man muddling his way through life in single-panel cartoons drawn by Tom Wilson since 1971; Garfield is the fat, lasagna-eating cat in comic strips and animated TV series, created in 1978 by Jim Davis. Our correspondent tells us that this joke is more than just a couple random comic strip characters thrown together. One the walls of some veterinarians' offices, there are posters featuring Ziggy reminding people to have their pets spayed or neutered. The idea that he would go so far as to neuter Garfield just makes it funnier.
MOVIE SEGMENTS:
"Like ALAN AND ROSSI, they stole the show." -"I'll ALWAYS have Torgo." - Originally "We'll always have Paris," from "Casablanca" (1942), which is one of the best movies ever made. And you know how a lot of those old "classics" are really kind of boring (like "Citizen Kane")? Well, "Casablanca" actually is good.
"The AMAZING TECHNICOLOR PONCHO." - Rewording of Andrew Lloyd Webber's '70s show "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat," a musical version of the story of Joseph as found in the book of Genesis. The show has recently enjoyed a revival, in which such luminaries as Donny Osmond and Michael Damian have played the title role.
"You can vacation with Torgo, but don't bring your AMERICAN EXPRESS." - Parody of Visa commercials, in which the viewer is told about some cool place to shop or visit, but is then told that the place doesn't accept American Express, so don't even both bringing it, you moron.
"Torgo has a little altar to BAAL." - Old Testament-era pagan Sun-god. The name literally means "lord" or "possessor" and relates to the relationship between a master and his slave. A most amusing episode of Baal's inferiority to the Hebrew God is found in 1 Kings chapter 18.
"Marilyn Quayle in 'BABY DOLL'." - "Baby Doll" was a 1956 film starring Karl Malden, Eli Wallach, and Rip Torn, among others; it was the film debut for Wallach and Torn. Based on a Tennessee Williams story; rather risque for its time. Marilyn Quayle is the wife of George Bush's vice president Dan Quayle.
"All my BAGS are packed, I'm ready to go." - Lyric from "Leaving on a Jet Plane," written by John Denver and performed by Peter, Paul and Mary on their 1967 album "Album 1700," and by Denver himself on his first album, "Rhymes and Reasons" (1969).
"They picked up Shirley BASSEY hitchhiking." - Shirley Bassey has had more than 25 Top 40 hits in the U.K. over the last few decades. Her song "Goldfinger," from the 1964 James Bond film of the same name, was a #1 hit in America.
"And now the Manos Women's Guild will re-enact the BATTLE OF PEARL HARBOR." - Ah, Python. This is a variation of a Monty Python sketch in which a number of women re-enact the Battle of Pearl Harbor mostly by fighting in the mud, hitting each other with their purses. The original line: "The Battle of Pearl Harbor, re-enacted for us now by the women of Batley Townswomen's Guild." Then, a bit later: "The premiere of the Batley Townswomen's Guild's re-enactment of the Battle of Pearl Harbor." From episode 11, first shown on Dec. 28, 1969.
"This is the alternate ending to 'BEACHES'." - "Beaches" was a 1988 hit movie starring Bette Midler; it's a "chick-flick," featuring lots of women doing lots of womany things.
"I'm BEMUSED by this plucky painting." -
Pat BENATAR - Born Patricia Andrzejewski, Pat Benatar has won four Grammies and has six platinum albums and four gold ones. My friend Mike, whose website you're looking at, finds it disturbing that there are about a thousand websites devoted to Pat Benatar, but only one for Joe Cocker.
"At BENEFICIAL." - Follows the sound of two gunshots. From an old TV ad for Beneficial insurance. It originally went, "At Beneficial (toot-toot) you're good for more," with the "toot-toot" being provided by a car horn.
"Look, them BLUE KENTUCKY HILLS of Tennessee." -
"Looks like a really cheap Robert BLY workshop." - Robert Bly is a poet, story teller, translator and worldwide lecturer. One of the most influential American authors currently not dead; his book "Iron John" (1991) spent 62 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. He deals a lot with masculinity and femininity stereotypes, and holds workshops on those subjects.
"I'm Tom BODET, we'll leave a pyre on for you." - Tom Bodet is the easy-going spokesperson for Motel 6. The actual slogan is, "I'm Tom Bodet, we'll leave a light on for you," meant to suggest the homey nature of Motel 6s. A pyre is defined by Merriam Webster as "a combustible heap for burning a dead body as a funeral rite."
"Bow down before me. BOW DOWN!" - Somewhere in "Superman II" (1980), the evil General Zod tries to convince Superman of his, General Zod's, superiority. "Bow down before me, son of Jor-El!" he says, or words to that effect.
Carol BRADY - Matriarch of "The Brady Bunch" (1969-74), played by Florence Henderson.
"She's a BRECK girl." - From commercials for Breck shampoo. The typical Breck commercial usually featured a pretty and wholesome girl, typically with light brown hair, shot with just her face in a cameo-shaped frame. Matches the woman in this scene pretty well.
"It was a BRIEF AFFAIR and it ended bitterly." -
"Maybe it's BRIGADOON." - Refers to the Lerner & Loewe Broadway musical, made into a movie in 1954, about a mythical Scottish village that only appears every 100 years, and even then only for a day.
Yul BRYNNER - Famous bald-headed actor, best known for playing the king of Siam in 1954 film "The King and I." He was also in a short-lived TV series called "Anna and the King," sort of a continuation of "The King and I." It last four months in 1972. Brynner's real name: Taidje Khan. Didja know he was born in Russia? He was, in 1915. He died of cancer in 1985. Before becoming famous, he was director of "Life with Snarky Parker" (or just "Snarky Parker"), a 1950 15-minute kids' puppet show.
Bill BUCKNER - Played first base for the Boston Red Sox, among others. He was a good player, but is best known for letting the ball roll through his legs during Game 6 of the 1986 World Series against the Mets. That cost the Red Sox the game -- a victory in that game would have meant winning the series -- and the Mets wound up winning the next game, too, thus defeating Boston in the series. Boston fans are still bitter about the incident. The Master looks like Bill Buckner.
"Does this BUG YOU? Does this bug you? I'm not touching you." -
"Someone left the CAKE out in the rain." - Line from "MacArthur Park," written by Jimmy Webb and sung Richard Harris, from 1968. Very popular song, but voted in humor columnist Dave Barry's Bad Song Survey of 1992 to be the worst song in modern history.
"It was CALLAHAN, the big one, he did this to me." - From "Dirty Harry" (1972), in which a crazy guy (played by Andrew Robinson) pays a guy to beat him up, and then he says that Callahan (Clint Eastwood) did it, just to get him in trouble.
"He's got Earl CAMPBELL thighs." - Former Houston Oiler (that's a football team, by the way). Now owns Earl Campbell Foods, Inc., known throughout the southwest for their fine spicy sausage. Earl Campbell does indeed have large thighs, as do many football players, I've noticed.
"CHARRED FINGER." - Sung to the tune of "Goldfinger," title song from the third James Bond movie, released in 1964. It's the one with the big climax at Fort Knox. See Shirley BASSEY.
"Do you know that CHEVROLET has a wonderful plan for your life?" - Mocks the approaches used by either the Jehovah's Witnesses or the Mormons as they go door to-door, though it's closer to what the JWs say.
"He's the CLOWN that makes the dark side fun." -
"Like having Joe COCKER as your bellhop." - Long-lived British rock singer. Joe Cocker has been recording since the '60s, perhaps most famous for "With a Little Help from My Friends" (heard at the beginning of TV's "The Wonder Years") and "You Are So Beautiful" (heard not close enough to the end of many wedding receptions). He had many episodes of public drunkenness between 1971 and 1974, and has never been a terribly coherent man anyway. Torgo lurches and stumbles around the way you would imagine Joe Cocker would.
"COUSIN ITT." - Character from "The Addams Family" (1964-66) TV show, played by Felix Silla. The character's long hair completely covered its entire body, and no face could be seen.
"I love my CRAFT-MATIC pole." - Refers to the Craft-Matic Adjustable Bed, advertised frequently on afternoon television. Helps old people and people with back problems sleep comfortably, and get up afterwards with minimal effort.
"The nearest phone is at the CROSSROADS." - After Torgo says this, you can hear Servo singing the guitar part to "Crossroads," a song written by blues guy Robert Johnson, later covered in 1968 by Cream, and often still performed by Eric Clapton.
"Tom CRUISE is Dr. John." - Tom Cruise, one of today's most popular actors, began his film career with "Endless Love" (1981), a piece of crap based on Scott Spencer's good novel. He has since appeared in many films, and is the only actor to star in six consecutive $100 million-grossing movies. Dr. John, the other fellow in this line, is an accomplished R&B songwriter and pianist. Born Malcolm John Rebennack, Jr., in New Orleans, Dr. John has won two Grammies over his long career.
"Does this make you CRY? Huh, baby? Does it?" - From the film "A Christmas Story" (1983).
"She's my sister, she's my DAUGHTER, she's my sister." - From the 1974 film "Chinatown." Jack Nicholson is slapping Faye Dunaway, trying to get her to tell him the truth about another character, and he slaps her after each contradictory answer she gives. "She's my sister!" SLAP "She's my daughter!" SLAP "She's my sister!" SLAP. Et cetera. Turns out Dunaway had had sex with her own father, played by John Huston, and so the woman in question was her sister AND her daughter. It's fun for the whole family!
"That's not how you wear your DEPENDS, Torgo." - Depends is a brand of adult diapers, for people with weak bladders and stuff. Notice how it would seem that perhaps Torgo has mistakenly stuffed his Depends into his thigh area.
"DESIGNING WOMEN: The Lost Episodes." - "Designing Women" (1986-1993) was a popular show for CBS for the first few years. In 1991, numerous cast changes shook things up a bit, and it went downhill from there. The focus of the show was four Southern career women, all single (at least at first) and all partners in an interior design business. They were generally friends, but they certainly were different and disagreed on a number of things. The reference here is mainly just silly: the idea of the four stars suddenly engaging in a wrestling match at the end of an episode is certainly amusing.
"The DEVIL'S COMFORTER." -
"It's DR. GIGGLES." - 1992 film starring Larry Drake, who played the retarded guy on TV's "L.A. Law" (1986-94). Drake plays a psychotic doctor who giggles when he's nervous and oh yeah, he kills people too. Kind of a funny movie, but gory. Anyway, the guy shown here looks like Drake as Giggles.
"Tom Cruise is DR. JOHN." - Tom Cruise, one of today's most popular actors, began his film career with "Endless Love" (1981), a piece of crap based on Scott Spencer's good novel. He has since appeared in many films, and is the only actor to star in six consecutive $100 million-grossing movies. Dr. John, the other fellow in this line, is an accomplished R&B songwriter and pianist. Born Malcolm John Rebennack, Jr., in New Orleans, Dr. John has won two Grammies over his long career. Torgo does sort of look like Tom Cruise AND Dr. John, simultaneously.
"My DOGS are barking." - John Candy in "Planes, Trains & Automobiles" (1987).
"I DON'T KNOW HOW to love him." - Line from a song of the same name in the Tim Rice/Andrew Lloyd Webber musical "Jesus Christ Superstar." It's sung by Mary Magdalene in reference to Jesus.
"You are the DRIVER. What would you do if this happened to you?" -
"Hired 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO." - Parody of "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo," a 1984 sequel to "Breakin'," which also came out in 1984 (!). Both films were about breakdancing, which, you'll recall, was quite the rage at the time. Note that MST's 1996 convention was called "Conventio-Con Expo-Fest-a-Rama 2: Electric Boogaloo."
"Next on ESPN: full-contact nightgown wrestling." - ESPN (Entertainment and Sports Network) has been around since the '80s, showing nothing but sports events and sports news. A few years ago, they launched ESPN-2 (called "the deuce" by cool people), which shows the sports that aren't quite important enough to go on the main network. Full-contact nightgown wrestling would probably go on the deuce, if it existed, which it doesn't (oh, but what if it did?!).
"Dear EVEREADY, I was tied to a pole all night and left my flashlight on..." - Eveready is a brand of batteries; the line is typical of something that might be said in a commercial in which a "real letter" from a customer is read.
"FADED PHOTOGRAPHS..." - First line of the 60's song "Traces" by the Classics IV. Available on their "Greatest Hits" album, if you're a big Classics IV fan.
"I just remembered: FAMILY CIRCUS was really funny today." - Bil Keane's adorable little comic strip where all the action takes place inside one circle, rather than a series of panels. Features four little kids and a mom and dad. Usually more "cute" than "funny." Sunday version often features a bird's-eye view of a particular part of the neighborhood, with a dotted line showing young Billy's path over the course of the day.
"Torgo, I just met a FELLA NAMED TORGO." - From the musical "West Side Story": "Maria, I just met a gal named Maria."
"I hope she doesn't make like Jenny FIELDS." - Refers to an incident in John Irving's 1978 novel "The World According to Garp," later made into a 1982 film starring Robin Williams. Jenny Fields, a nurse, conceived Garp by having sex with a wounded/dead pilot during World War II. Glenn Close, in her film debut, played Jenny Fields.
The Master doesn't like children -- "He's W.C. FIELDS." - W.C. Fields, famed actor, comedian and misanthrop, allegedly said, "Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad."
"FIFTH." - It's questionable, but this could be a reference to "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (1975), where one running joke has King Arthur (Graham Chapman) always saying "five" instead of "three."
"What is this, FINAL JEOPARDY?" - In the long-running game show, the winner is determined by a round called "final jeopardy," in which they are given a question and 30 seconds to determine the correct response. The home audience sits there and waits for 30 seconds while the contestants write down their answers.
"The Master? Bobby FISCHER?" - Generally regarded as the greatest chessplayer of all time, Fischer was born in in Chicago in 1943. At age 12 he was beating nearly everyone at the Manhattan Chess Club (where the best chessplayers in the country hang out), and by age 16, he was making a living just at playing chess. He has an incredible photographic memory and very high I.Q. He voluntarily left the chess circuit after winning the World Championship in 1972. He pops up every now and then. The 1993 film "Searching for Bobby Fischer" was the true story of a young boy who sort of wanted to be the next Bobby Fischer, except he sort of didn't, too.
"Wait a minute, I think she wants us to FOLLOW her, Laura." - Sounds like something from the "Lassie" TV show (1954-74), except that there was no "Laura" on that show, and the character in "Manos" isn't named Laura, either.
"Are you now or have you ever been a FORD owner?" - Reminiscent of questions asked during the McCarthy Hearings of the early '50s. Sen. Joseph McCarthy (R-Wis.) insisted that many people in the government were Communists, though he never bothered to supply the huge list of names he allegedly had. Senate hearings were held, and in 1954, McCarthy was reprimanded by the Senate for being such a bozo.
"Dear Eveready, I was tied to a pole all night and left my FLASHLIGHT
on..." - Eveready is a brand of batteries; the line is typical of something that
might be said in a commercial in which a "real letter" from a customer is
read.
"A meeting with FLOYD the Barber." - Character played by
Howard McNear on "The Andy Griffith Show" (1960-68).
"Sandy FRANK, Sandy Frank..." - Sandy Frank was the producer/distributor of many a bad Japanese film. Sandy Frank films that have been MSTed include "Time of the Apes," all the Gamera movies, and all the Godzilla movies. Pretty much all of season 3, then. In 306 - Time of the Apes, Joel, Tom and Crow sing "The Sandy Frank Song," and the woman here is presented to be singing it, too. "Sandy Frank! Sandy Frank! Gads about the house all day!" Etc.
Michael FRANKS - California-born musician. Recorded a string of popularly and critically acclaimed albums, mostly in the 1970s. Had a bit of a hit in 1973 with "Can't Seem to Stop This Rock and Roll."
"It's a Frank FRAZETTA of Frank Zappa." - Frank Frazetta is one of the biggest names in the fantasy/sword and sorcery genre of art. Born in Brooklyn in 1928, he began drawing almost as soon as he could walk. As a grown-up, he created the Buck Rogers comic strip, and drew for "L'il Abner" for nine years. He had a very successful career in comic books and comic strips, as well as in doing covers for paperback books, including the "Tarzan" series in the 1960s. He also did "Little Annie Fannie" in Playboy magazine for a while, along with Harvey Kurtzman, Will Elder, and Jack Davis, all of whom also did a lot of work for Mad Magazine. Frank Zappa, on the other hand, whom this painting does look a bit like, was a rock musician, and his group, The Mothers of Invention, did some of the most eclectic, odd rock and roll of the 1960s. By himself or with his band, he released nearly 50 albums before his death of prostate cancer in 1993. Kevin Murphy, aka Tom Servo, is admittedly a devout Frank Zappa fan, and episode #523 - Village of the Giants ends with a little tribute to him in place of the stinger. (Despite his fondness for Zappa, Kevin gets the date of his death wrong in the "Amazing Colossal Episode Guide." He puts it in 1994, whereas it was actually Dec. 4, 1993.)
"It's FUN!" -
"Honey, I'm a GENIUS, you could kiss me." -
"We return to 'GIRL TALK' with Virginia Graham." - Virginia Graham had a long career in TV, not in acting, but in being a hostess. Her first show was "Food for Thought" (1956-61), a daytime talk show. Next came "Girl Talk" (1963-70), a talk show for women, which she hosted until 1969, when Betsy Palmer took over. She had her own, self-titled talk show from 1970-72, and appeared as a gossip reporter on "America Alive!" from 1978-79. The first three shows were syndicated; the last was on NBC.
Don't get mad -- "get GLAD." - Slogan of Glad garbage bags.
"He tampered in GOD'S DOMAIN." - From "Bride of the Monster," a terrible 1955 movie by Ed Wood featuring Tor Johnson and Bela Lugosi and a giant rubber octopus. Was MST #423 -- right before "Manos."
"They all wanted to be Dean Martin's GOLDDIGGERS." - The Golddiggers were a group of hot young women who appeared as a summer replacement for "The Dean Martin Show" in 1968, 1969 and 1970. In 1971, the show appeared on its own, in syndication. The show was called "Dean Martin Presents the Golddiggers" in 1968 and 1969; "The Golddiggers in London" in 1970; and just "The Golddiggers" in 1971. People like Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Reilly popped up as hosts; the women, for the most part, went on to do lots of nothing afterwards. (Micki McGlone? Paula Cinko? Ring any bells? Hello?)
"I used to GO OUT with all these women and now they're here, Kodachrome." - This line does not appear in Paul Simon's "Kodachrome" song, which came out in 1973 and is featured on his "Negotiations and Love Songs" greatest hits album. He does talk about what if he got together all the girls he dated in high school and took a picture, etc., but never says, "I used to go out with all these women and now they're here."
"We return to 'Girl Talk' with Virginia GRAHAM." - Virginia Graham had a long career in TV, not in acting, but in being a hostess. Her first show was "Food for Thought" (1956-61), a daytime talk show. Next came "Girl Talk" (1963-70), a talk show for women, which she hosted until 1969, when Betsy Palmer took over. She had her own, self-titled talk show from 1970-72, and appeared as a gossip reporter on "America Alive!" from 1978-79. The first three shows were syndicated; the last was on NBC. As far as we know, she's not dead.
"Visit beautiful GROUND ZERO." - Ground zero is the point at which a nuclear explosion occurs. The phrase was coined in 1946, according to Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, if you can believe anything you read in that rag.
"But first, funnyman Morty GUNTY." - Morty Gunty is probably best known for playing an agent named Sandy Stone on "That Girl" (1966-71).
"Light HAND and get away." - Typical of instructions you would find on a box of firecrackers.
"Sometimes it's HARD to be a woman." - First line from the 1968 Tammy Wynette hit "Stand by Your Man." These women all need to stand by their manos.
"Give 'em hell, HARRY." - David Wallechinsky and Irving Wallace, in "The People's Almanac," quote President Harry S Truman: "In the middle of the speech, some big voice up in the corner hollered out, "Give 'em hell, Harry !" Well, I never gave anybody hell -- I just told the truth on these fellows and they thought it was hell." The phrase stuck.
"Piano by Keith HARING." - Keith Haring was a neo-pop artist who died of AIDS recently at age 31. Some of his work can be seen at this website: http://www.martinlawrence.com/haring.html. He was not, however, a musician, which makes this particular reference rather cryptic.
"Yes, it's HAWAIIAN TROPIC for that savage buzz." - Hawaiian Tropic, a suntan lotion that began in 1969, used to advertise its adeptness at helping the user acquire a "savage tan." They don't test on animals, but they do have an official website.
"HI, MIKE." - The way they say it is the way such things are said in support groups (e.g., Alcoholics Anonymous).
"Jimmy HOFFA, the last known photo." - Union leader with ties to the Mob who disappeared in 1975, never to be seen again. He was the subject of a long, dull 1992 movie starring Jack Nicholson and directed by Danny DeVito.
"It's HOWLIN' WOLF." - Born Chester Arthur Burnett in 1910, "Howlin' Wolf" was one of the best blues musicians ever. He grew up a farmer on the Mississippi Delta, was drafted into WWII, and then moved to Memphis, where he quickly gained a reputation as one of the best performers in the area. Later moved to Chicago, where he recorded some very dark blues. One writer described his shows as akin to a "pagan ritual," describing "the mighty Wolf prowling the stage in front of his brutally powerful band, then crawling on the stage like a man possessed, and finally howling through the mike to his audience with his larger than life voice." Died in 1976. Immediately after they mention Howlin' Wolf, Servo begins singing "Wang Dang Doodle," which was a hit for Howlin' in 1964.
"INKA DINKA DOO." - Popular song by Jimmy Durante, first recorded in 1934. The man shown here looks sort of like him.
"ITSY-BITSY SPIDER goes up the water..." - Lyric from a children's rhyme, which comes complete with hand motions. "The itsy-bitsy [some say 'eensy-weensy'] spider crawled up the water spout / Down came the rain and washed the spider out / Up came the sun and dried up all the rain / And the itsy-bitsy [eensy-weensy] spider crawled up the spout again."
"JAM HANDY to the rescue." - Variation of the song "Jim Dandy," written by Lincoln Chase. It's been recorded by Black Oak Arkansas, appearing on the "Dazed and Confused" movie soundtrack, but the original version was in 1956 by R&B singer La Vern Baker. No way to be certain which version Joel and the 'Bots were referring to, except to ask them, so if you see any of them, find out for us, will you?
"KEEP AWAY from me! Keep away!" -
Joan KENNEDY - Ex-wife of Sen. Edward "Ted" Kennedy (D-Mass.). The 1985 Marcia Chellis biography "Living with the Kennedys: The Joan Kennedy Story" quotes Joan as saying that after the 1969 Chappaquiddick incident, where Ted drove his car off a bridge and killed passenger Mary Jo Kapechne, "Ted called his girlfriend Helga before he ... told me what was going on." This reflects more on Ted character than on Joan's but we thought it was an interesting anecdote.
"He has a KIND FACE" -
"He's the guy you used to know who works at a KINNEY'S SHOES and won't leave you alone." - Kinney's Shoes is a large chain of low-priced shoestores. Working at Kinney's Shoes is not exactly a major status symbol.
"So KISS a little longer." - Line from Big Red gum commercials. Always accompanied by shots of heterosexual couples doing various fun things, including kissing. Oft they are kissing for extremely long periods of time.
Jack KLUGMAN - Co-star of "The Odd Couple" (1970-75), as Oscar Madison, the messy one. Co-star was Tony Randall as Felix Unger, the clean one. See why it was funny?!? Both had previously appeared, separately and coincidentally, as guest villains on the kids show "Captain Video" (1949-56). Klugman also appeared on "The Greatest Gift" (1954-55), a daytime soap opera about doctors and stuff, and as the title character on "Quincy, M.E." (1976-83).
"I used to go out with all these women and now they're here, KODACHROME." - This line does not appear in Paul Simon's "Kodachrome" song, which came out in 1973 and is featured on his "Negotiations and Love Songs" greatest hits album. He does talk about what if he got together all the girls he dated in high school and took a picture, etc., but never says, "I used to go out with all these women and now they're here."
"Sounds like Gene KRUPA's out there." - Gene Krupa (1909-1973) was a drummer and band leader with many swing and big bands. He helped popularize the role of drummer in jazz music, showing that it was more than just the guy keeping the rhythm. He played with Benny Goodman in the 1930s, and with Tommy Dorsey in the 1940s. The Beatniks of the '50s were fond of Gene Krupa.
"I mean, who can afford LANCOME make-up?" - It's a brand of make up. Kinda self-explanatory, isn't it?
"Torgo, you're the LAZIEST MAN on Mars." - Originally "Dropo, you're the laziest man on Mars," from "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians," a 1964 stinkerooni that was MST #321.
"I must go cut off my LEFT EAR now." - Torgo looks like Vincent Van Gogh, and cutting off his left ear is something the great Dutch painter did once in a fit of depression. Unsure how he thought mutilating himself would help his depression, but who are we to question a genius?
"LIKE FATHER, like son? Think about it, won't you?" - From an anti-smoking public service announcement of the '60s. The ad showed sons imitating their fathers (playing football, stuff like that), and ended with the sons also smoking. "Think about it, won't you?"
"This isn't LYSISTRATA." - Ancient Greek play written by Aristophanes in about 410 B.C. Plenty of sexual innunedo and smut as a bunch of a women band together to save Greece.
Debbie -- "LITTLE DEBBIE." - Little Debbie is a brand of mediocre snack cakes and cookies. Logo features a little girl -- presumably "Debbie" -- smiling at you. Our correspondent describes Little Debbie as "Dolly Madison's white trash cousin."
"He's doing MACBETH." - Shakespeare play written in the first decade of the 1600s. Reference here is probably just to the Master's over-dramatic behavior, which is typical of people playing Macbeth.
"This scene is strong enough for a manos, but MADE FOR a womanos." - "Strong enough for a man but made for a woman" is the slogan for Secret anti-perspirant.
"Who was looking at MAGGIE THE CAT?" - From Tennesse Williams's 1955 play "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," made into a movie with Elizabeth Taylor in 1958. The wife here looks like Elizabeth Taylor, a little, and the line sort of fits.
"I got your MAGIC FINGERS going." - Magic fingers are a feature on some hotel beds. You put a quarter (or more) in the machine, and the bed vibrates. It's actually pretty relaxing.
"The MAIDENFORM Woman, you never know where she'll show up." - From a series of rather controversial commercials for Maidenform, which makes bras and stuff. Ads would show women wearing bras -- with nothing covering those bras -- walking around in public places
"It's the MAKE-OUT COUNTY LINE." - Variation on "Macon County Line," a 1974 film about three guys being pursued for a crime they didn't commit.
"MAMMY!" - Al Jolson line in "The Jazz Singer" (1927), which was the first non silent movie. Actually, most of the movie was silent, with a few musical and dialogue bits thrown in here and there, but it was enough to where within two years, the silent film genre was pretty much dead. Jolson sings a song called "My Mammy," and "Mammy" is sort of his catchphrase. The statue shown here, looking all black-faced as it does, looks like Jolson with his black make-up.
"Our MAN FROM UNCLE will return..." - "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." was a hit on NBC from 1964-68, starring Robert Vaughn (star of "Teenage Caveman," MST #315). "U.N.C.L.E." stood for United Network Command for Law and Enforcement; the show was a light-hearted little spy/action/adventure show. It had a short-lived spin-off called "The Girl from U.N.C.L.E."
"Do you like Barry MANILOW songs?" - Hey, who doesn't? The 1970s
cheese-meister has had a revival lately, mostly because of that dreadful '70s
nostalgia thing that's been going on. Biggest hits include "I Write the Songs"
(which he did not write, by the way; Bruce Johnston did), "Copacabana," and the
theme from "American Bandstand," called "Bandstand Boogie." Did you know he
wrote that? Well, he did.
"They all wanted to be Dean MARTIN's
Golddiggers." - The Golddiggers were a group of hot young women who appeared as
a summer replacement for "The Dean Martin Show" in 1968, 1969 and 1970. In 1971,
the show appeared on its own, in syndication. The show was called "Dean Martin
Presents the Golddiggers" in 1968 and 1969; "The Golddiggers in London" in 1970;
and just "The Golddiggers" in 1971. People like Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson
Reilly popped up as hosts; the women, for the most part, went on to do lots of
nothing afterwards. (Micki McGlone? Paula Cinko? Ring any bells? Hello?)
"It's MARY KAY Kay Kay" - Mary Kay is a popular line of cosmetics, and here the women look like Mary Kay saleswomen, but they also look like members of the Ku Klux Klan (KKK), the white supremicist group, what with their white nightgowns and all.
"I saved Mephisto, can we keep him?" - Some mythological guy who sold his soul for eternal fame; perhaps the basis for Goethe's "Faust?" We were unable to find much information on him.
Freddie MERCURY - The Master does indeed look like Freddie Mercury. Freddie was the lead singer for the rock group Queen, whose first album came out in 1973. They had a string of hits throughout the '70s and '80s and enjoyed a resurgence in popularity when their "Bohemian Rhapsody" was featured prominently in 1992's "Wayne's World" film. The video for the song, which used clips from the movie, was shown incessantly on MTV and VH-1 for about a million years after that. Mercury, unfortunately, had died before the film came out, on Nov. 24, 1991, of AIDS.
He loves beautiful women -- "and he likes to wear MITTENS." -
Manos, thou of primal darkness -- "It's a MOODY BLUES song." - A reference to the pseudo-poetic incantations the Moody Blues used to use as preludes or postludes to their songs. "Nights in White Satin" (1967) contains the most famous example of this.
"The black and red MOSES OF SOUL." - There was a film in 1974 called "Isaac Hayes: The Black Moses of Soul." We are unable to find much more detail than this.
"A MOST DANGEROUS GAME." - Probably referring to Richard Connell's famous short story, "The Most Dangerous Game," in which a man finds himself on a far-off island where he is then hunted for sport by the insane rich man who owns the place.
"MRS. PHYLLIS TORGO. Guess I kinda like it." -
"Meanwhile, Eliot NESS and his Untouchables head for a speakeasy in Berwyn." - Typical of lines from the narrator (newspaper columnist Walter Winchell) in ABC's "The Untouchables" (1959-63). The show was based on the real-life exploits of Eliot Ness and his band of Treasury agents, called the "Untouchables," who were mostly in hot pursuit of Al Capone and people like that in the 1930s. The shot here, with the old car and men wearing hats, looks a bit like a scene from "The Untouchables."
"NEVER STEAL anything wet." - Song from the opening credits of "Catalina Caper" (which was previously called "Never Steal Anything Wet"), a 1967 musical/comedy romp starring Tommy Kirk and people like that. Was seen in MST #204, and was much loathed by the cast and writers. The song is sung here pretty much as a silly non-sequitur.
"the NEW POPE has not been chosen." - In theory, any old Catholic guy can be Pope, but since 1378, it's always been a Cardinal. Within 18 days of the death of a Pope, the Cardinals all get together to find a new one. Only Cardinals over the age of 80 are allowed to vote. They get together in the Sistine Chapel and signal the eager crowd outside as to whether a new Pope has been chosen by sending smoke up the pipes -- black smoke means no decision yet; white smoke means we have a winner! Recall that this line is uttered in MST when we see a shot of thick black smoke rising from the Master's little campfire.
"Tonight on NIGHT GALLERY." - Anthology series hosted by Rod Serling, of "Twilight Zone" fame. It began as part of NBC's "Four-in-One" rotating sequence of shows in 1970; it got its own time slot the next year and ran until 1973. It was a "Twilight Zone-y" sort of show, set in an art gallery. Each week, a different painting would inspire a different supernatural story.
Trisha NIXON - Daughter of President Richard M. Nixon.
"OFFICER INTERRUPTUS." - Play on the phrase "coitus interruptus," which is the act of withdrawing before the sex is finished.
"ONE OF THESE DAYS, Alice!" - Line frequently spoken by Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden on "The Honeymooners." The show was part of "The Jackie Gleason Show," which ran through most of the '50s. Thirty-nine half-hour episodes were produced between 1955 and 1956, and they were broadcast live, which is why the actors mess up sometimes, and why one episode doesn't have an ending (they ran out of time and were unable to do the last scene).
"What is he expecting, a big ON/OFF SWITCH?" - Crow is doing an impression of Jerry Seinfeld, star of the very popular NBC show "Seinfeld" (1990-present), who was quite a successful stand-up comedian before his network success. The line is from a bit about having your car break down and looking under the hood, even though you know nothing about fixing cars. The joke has been reused by so many people that it's become a bit of a joke itself.
"I don't know what she got into, but she's been OUT COLD FOR HOURS." - This isn't necessarily a reference to anything; it's obviously funny on its own. But our pal Mike Daddino, who has made it his life's obsession to ponder the "Manos" episode of MST and who provided us with several references for the episode, points out an interesting fact. Jazz trio Lambert, Hendricks & Ross did a song in 1964 called "Twisted" (it was later covered by Joni Mitchell in 1974) in which a situation similar to this one appears. The lyrics: "Now I heard little children/Were supposed to sleep tight/That's why I got into the vodka one night/My parents got frantic/Didn't know what to do.../But I saw some crazy scenes/Before I came to/Now do you think I was crazy?/I may have been only three/But I was swinging." Hmmm.
What could have done it? "Ozzy OSBOURNE." - Stems from the popular rumors that rock star Ozzy Osbourne, formerly of Black Sabbath, now gone solo, used to bite the head off live bats onstage, and do various other dreadful things. If you ask around, you'll find that no one was actually present to see him do this, but many people have "friends" who WERE there. Of course.
Forgive me madam -- "It's Sen. PACKWOOD." - Bob Packwood (R-Ore.) was accused in 1993 of sexual harassment, apparently of a whole bunch of women. Torgo's clumsy pass, and his clumsier apology, remind one of the distinguished gentleman from Oregon.
"Let's sing something from PEARL JAM." - Pearl Jam hit it big during the Seattle crazy of the early '90s, following in Nirvana's footsteps and eventually taking the crown as Kings of Grunge Rock when Nirvana's lead singer, Kurt Cobain, died. Their first big hit was "Even Flow," from their 1991 album "Ten." They followed it up with several more big hits, including "Alive," "Jeremy," and "Black." Their 1997 album, "No Code," was a critical and commercial disappointment. They performed on "Late Show with David Letterman" during Dave's special commercial-free episode in fall 1996; it was the first time they had performed on the show.
"PIGS, Lies, and Videotape." - Variation of "sex, lies, and videotape," a 1989 film. Unsure of the direct connection between that movie and the scene here.
Take his prospects for example -- "PLEASE." - Refers to an old Henny Youngman joke. Youngman was known as the master of the one-liner in his day, a title since taken over by deadpan genius Steven Wright. Youngman's trademark joke was "Take my wife [as in, "for example..."] ... please."
"Hey, this is POLO." - Line of men's cologne.
"POW, boff, smack." - The campy 1966-68 TV show "Batman" would feature these sound effects, and others, when our heroes were fighting with bad guys. The words would appear in big comic book-style letters on the screen.
"Debbie knows it's PRINCE SPAGHETTI night." - Prince Spaghetti was a pasta manufacturer whose commercials showed children rushing home in gleeful anticipation, because "Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti night." What a rut to get into. EVERY Wednesday, spaghetti.
"I'm Tom Bodet, we'll leave a PYRE on for you." - Tom Bodet is the easy-going spokesperson for Motel 6. The actual slogan is, "I'm Tom Bodet, we'll leave a light on for you," meant to suggest the homey nature of Motel 6s. A pyre is defined by Merriam Webster as "a combustible heap for burning a dead body as a funeral rite."
"Marilyn QUAYLE in 'Baby-Doll'." - "Baby Doll" was a 1956 film starring Karl Malden, Eli Wallach, and Rip Torn, among others; it was the film debut for Wallach and Torn. Based on a Tennessee Williams story; rather risque for its time. Marilyn Quayle is the wife of George Bush's vice president Dan Quayle.
"I'm gonna go find a RAMADA." - Chain of medium-to-high-priced hotels.
"It sounds like Jerry REED." - A guitar great who wrote and played on
songs performed Elvis Presley, Chet Atkins, and Johnny Cash, among others. Also
appeared as a regular on "The Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour" (1969-72), and as the
host of his own show, "The Jerry Reed When You're Hot You're Hot Hour," which
was a summer replacement for the Glen Campbell show in 1972. ("When You're Hot,
You're Hot" had been a hit for Reed a year earlier.) Has also had a few bit
parts in movies here and there.
"And in a moment, the RESULTS of
that trial." - The statue shown looks like the famous "blind justice" statue,
where the woman is blindfolded and holding a scales. This line is from the
"Dragnet" TV series.
"RIDERS ON THE STORM." - Song by The Doors from their 1971 hit album "L.A. Woman." The song features storm sound effects.
There's been enough trouble -- "right here in RIVER CITY." - Refers to a line from "The Music Man," Meredith Willson's great Broadway musical that was made into a movie in 1962. Professor Harold Hill (Robert Preston, onstage and in the film) is a con artist who travels from town to town in the early part of this century, convincing the locals that they need some way of keeping their young boys in line after school, and he that he's just the man to do it, by organizing a boys' band -- this despite his complete lack of musical knowledge of any kind. In the show, he visits River City, Iowa, a town full of stubborn yahoos. He stands in the town square and sings a rousing number, the gist of which is that the new presence of a pool table in town is sure to lead to the boys hanging around the billiard parlor and getting into trouble. "You got trouble! Right here in River City!" he sings.
Julia ROBERTS - Julia Roberts appeared in the late '80s as a film actress, appearing in "Steel Magnolias" (1989) and "Pretty Woman" (1990). The latter film, a huge hit with Richard Gere, made her a superstar; unfortunately, she's been hit-and-miss since then.
"It's ROBINSTONE, the love machine." -
"They're ROLFING him to death!" - Rolfing is a chiropractic technique, only without the high respect that chiropractics receives from the medical community. (That was sarcasm.)
"ROW, row, row your boat, come on, sing, damn it!" - From the cool Clint Eastwood film "Dirty Harry" (1972).
"Hello Sigfried, Hello ROY." - These guys. They're a couple of flamboyant, vaguely European magicians and animal trainers in Las Vegas.
"This movie has kind of a Ken RUSSELL feel to it." - Ken Russell has directed over 50 films, some of them for television. He frequently employs symbols, including snakes, trains, and baptisms. He directed the 1975 film "Tommy," based on The Who's rock opera, and 1991's "Whore," which I mainly remember because Teresa Russell, who starred in it, appeared on "Late Night with David Letterman" to promote the film, and Dave would only say the title under his breath and off to the side.
"Sid gets the most sales because he's a SHAPE-SHIFTER." - Shape-shifters appear lots of places, but they began in "Star Trek." "Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country" (1991) featured a shape-shifter that made itself look like Captain Kirk and then got shot by Klingons, which is kind of funny. Shape-shifters, as the name implies, can make themselves look like just about anything, and they shift subtly, using computer technology. The "shape-shifter" here just uses lousy editing.
"Oh thank you very much, a SHOT IN THE FACE, how nice." -
"Hello SIGFRIED, Hello Roy." - These guys. They're a couple of flamboyant, vaguely European magicians and animal trainers in Las Vegas.
"You know what this movie really needs? Marc SINGER." - Singer appeared as Mike Donovan in the 1983 "V" mini-series and in the 1984-85 regular series, both on NBC. He also starred in, and is probably best known for, the "Beastmaster" movies.
"She's my SISTER, she's my daughter, she's my sister." - From the 1974 film "Chinatown." Jack Nicholson is slapping Faye Dunaway, trying to get her to tell him the truth about another character, and he slaps her after each contradictory answer she gives. "She's my sister!" SLAP "She's my daughter!" SLAP "She's my sister!" SLAP. Et cetera. Turns out Dunaway had had sex with her own father, played by John Huston, and so the woman in question was her sister AND her daughter. It's fun for the whole family!
"I want a lover with a SLOW HAND." - From the 1981 Pointer Sisters song, "Slow Hand" from their album "Black and White."
"SLUG-BUG." - Kid's game wherein a person who sees a Volkswagen "Bug" car punches the other in the arm, either hard or soft depending on local preference, and says "Slug-bug." My mom wouldn't let us play the game because it invariably led to blood-spurting violence; instead, she insisted we play "Hug-Bug," where you give the person a hug. I'm not kidding.
"SMOKE on the weirdo." - Originally "Smoke on the Water," a Deep Purple song from 1972.
"This is gonna turn into a SNUFF FILM." - A very interesting issue here. The term "snuff film" apparently began in 1969, when the press mistakenly reported that members of the Manson gang had filmed some of their murderous exploits. Not long after that, the term began to be used to apply to films in which the filmmakers actually killed a person, for real, and filmed it as part of their movie. It's a troubling, horrible idea -- and yet according the Urban Legends website, it's a myth: snuff films don't exist. They maintain that no law enforcement agency has ever reported having actually come across such a film; in parts of L.A., everyone "knows someone" who has seen one, but has never actually seen one themselves. Still, many people insist that such movies, generally also pornographic in nature, do exist, way underground, and are available for purchase for incredible amounts of money. Whatever the case, "Manos" looks like the sort of movie that might be a snuff film, what with its cheap production and clueless assemblage.
"Go, SPEED RACER." - 1967 Japanese cartoon about a racecar driver, by the name o' Speed Racer. The show wound up in America shortly after airing in Japan, and was a moderate hit. It has enjoyed a resurgence in popularity in the last few years, being shown on MTV and Cartoon Network. The phrase "Go, Speed Racer" comes from the opening theme song.
Maybe we should spare the child -- "and SPOIL the rod." - From the old saying "Spare the rod and spoil the child," suggesting that if you don't spank your kid, he'll be spoiled. Probably derived from a couple passages in Proverbs, in the Old Testament: Proverbs 23:13 - "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die"; Proverbs 29:15 - "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."
"Shot on location in SPOONER, Wisconsin." - Spooner, Wisconsin, is somewhere between Superior and Eau Claire. It's a medium-sized place with a history of railroads, timber, that sort of thing. However, the town's official website insists that its history is much more than this. Sez the site: "It is a rich history steeped in the natural beauty of the land with flowing streams, cattail swamps, the sounds of ducks and geese, the waving of Wild Rice in the soft evening breeze and the bright and shiny tip of a fawn's nose as it nuzzles its mother. It is a country rich in the essence of life itself." Whatever. In fact, the town's motto is "A Place Where Everyone Would Love to Live." Obviously, there must be some laws or embargoes that are preventing everyone from following their dreams and living in Spooner. (Actually, we doubt the veracity of this "where everyone would love to live" thing, because neither of us would like to live there at all, as we are not fond of the Wisconsin climate.) If you should find yourself in Spooner, we recommend you check out the rodeo, held every summer, and be sure to stay at the Green Acres Motel on Highway 63 (call 1-800-373-5293 for reservations). Be sure to eat at the River Street Family Restaurant; tell the breakfast waitress, Caroline, that we said hello, and don't ask her about the scar, because she's sensitive.
"Adlai STEVENSON buys a car." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965) was the Democratic candidate for presidency in 1952 and 1956, but was beaten by Eisenhower both times. Nice guy, though.
"It's ROBIN STONE, the love machine." - Robin Stone is the main character in Jacqueline Susann's romance novel "The Love Machine," which was turned into a 1971 film with John Phillip Law as Stone. The Robin Stone character uses people to his own advantage and, sure enough, is pretty much a love machine.
"This scene is STRONG ENOUGH for a manos, but made for a womanos." - "Strong enough for a man but made for a woman" is the slogan for Secret anti-perspirant.
"I ain't gonna play SUN CITY!" - Sun City was a snooty resort in South Africa's phony "homelands" for the nation's blacks. Rock musicians would occasionally play there, either unaware of or unconcerned by the local apartheid situation, and in 1985 Artists United Against Apartheid recorded "Sun City," a song against apartheid, obviously. Artists appearing on the record included Little Steven, Bruce Springsteen, Miles Davis, Bono, Ringo Starr, etc. The chorus of the song included the line "I ain't gonna play Sun City."
"My uncle wanted me to sing SUNRISE, SUNSET." - Song from "Fiddler on the Roof," the musical about a traditional Jewish family. Song has to do with the passing of time, and how they grow up so fast. Typical of things sung at weddings and anniversaries.
"SURPRISE, surprise, surprise." - Cathphrase of Gomer Pyle, main character (played by Jim Nabors) of "Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C." (1964-69). The show was a spinoff of "The Andy Griffith Show."
"It's the latest episode of the TASTER'S CHOICE saga." - The coffee company Taster's Choice had a series of commercials in 1995 that were almost soap opera-like in their continuity and subject matter. They mainly dealt with a woman and her male neighbor (Anthony Stewart Head, who also had a recurring role in the short-live 1995 series "VR.5"), and there was lots of innuendo and unspoken lust mixed in with the coffee.
"Been hittin' the THIGHMASTER, Torgo?" - Product advertised by Suzanne Somers and others, usually on late-night TV. You send away for it, and it's supposed to help your thighs get really buffed. It has a strong spring-like device, so that it provides resistance when you try to squeeze it together with your thighs.
"Let's just pretend they're watching TRIP TO BOUNTIFUL." - 1985 film about a widow who wants to go home to Bountiful, Texas, for one last look at the place.
There's been enough TROUBLE -- "right here in River City." - Refers to a line from "The Music Man," Meredith Willson's great Broadway musical that was made into a movie in 1962. Professor Harold Hill (Robert Preston, onstage and in the film) is a con artist who travels from town to town in the early part of this century, convincing the locals that they need some way of keeping their young boys in line after school, and he that he's just the man to do it, by organizing a boys' band -- this despite his complete lack of musical knowledge of any kind. In the show, he visits River City, Iowa, a town full of stubborn yahoos. He stands in the town square and sings a rousing number, the gist of which is that the new presence of a pool table in town is sure to lead to the boys hanging around the billiard parlor and getting into trouble. "You got trouble! Right here in River City!" he sings.
"TURN it off, turn it off." - According to the "Amazing Colossal Episode Guide," this was spoken by George C. Scott in "Hardcore" (1979). We haven't seen the film, but from the synopsis in Leonard Maltin's movie book, we would guess Scott said this when he was being shown a porno film starring his daughter. (You think we make these things up, but we swear we don't.)
"Mr. UNSER, we're ready for you." - Al Unser, Jr., racecar driver extraordinaire. Won the Indianapolis 500 in 1994; has won many other races. The man here kind of looks like him, but more importantly, the car from this angle looks like a racecar.
"VAN GOGH's self-portrait." - Nineteenth-century Dutch painter. Van Gogh is famous for never having achieved any success in his life, but for being quite the thing afterwards. He suffered from some major pyschological problems, and once cut off his ear in a fit of depression. Don McLean's song "Vincent" is about him; it mentions a few of his paintings ("Starry Night," for example). Torgo looks A LOT like Van Gogh's self-portrait painting.
"This isn't WACKER Drive. We're nowhere near Chicago." - There's really a street in downtown Chicago called Wacker Drive.
"Then I have my answer. I'm WALKING on air." - From the Woody Allen film "Hannah and Her Sisters" (1986).
"Like they're walking into a John WATERS film." - John Waters is one extremely weird individual. His movies, all of them bizarre and usually tasteless, have earned him the reputation as one of the sickest men in show business. His "Pink Flamingos" (1972) featured a transvestite fellow named Divine eating dog feces. He also made use of the then-very fat Ricki Lake ("one of the great Lakes," Letterman once called her) in "Hairspray" (1988).
"Rudd WEATHERWAX really topped himeslf with this dog." - Rudd Weatherwax was the owner and trainer of the first Lassie. Lassie, played by six different dogs, all males, was the star of various "Lassie" TV shows between 1954 and 1974.
"Look, can we drop off Tim WEISBERG?" - A flute player, Weisberg recorded a couple albums with Dan Fogelberg: "Twin Sons of Different Mothers" in the '70s, and the more recent "No Resemblance Whatsoever." Also has done several solo albums, including "Heartchild" (1985) and "Naked Eyes" (1996).
"Now back to 'WE MARRIED MANOS.'" - Most likely a reference to "I Married Joan" (1952-55), a sitcom starring Joan Davis and Jim Backus as a wacky married couple.
"I WET 'em." - Monty Python sketch from episode 9 (Dec. 14, 1969). The sketch is called "The Visitors," and it has a nice quiet couple being interrupted by some loud, braying visitors. Terry Jones as Audrey Equator laughs a whole bunch and then says, "Ooooh! I've wet 'em."
"It's the WILSON PHILLIPS break-up." - Wilson Phillips was a female pop group in the early '90s. Members were Chynna Phillips and Carnie and Wendy Wilson (daughters of Beach Boy Brian Wilson). Recorded two albums, in 1990 and 1992. The second one didn't do too well, nor did their concert tour, and they broke up. Carnie Wilson (the fat one) had a short-lived trashy talk show for a while in 1995-96. The group was originally supposed to include Owen Vanessa Elliott (Mama Cass's daughter), and they were going to do an anti-drug album.
"Torgo WOBBLES but he doesn't fall down." - Refers to commercials for Weebles, fun little toy people whose bottoms halves are rounded, so that the toys wobble around, but they don't actually fall over. "They weeble and they wobble but they won't fall down" is the slogan.
"WOMEN WHO LUNCH and the manos who love them." - "The Ladies Who Lunch" was a song in Stephen Sondheim's musical "Company"; it was made famous when Barbra Streisand sang it on "The Broadway Album" (1985). We're told it's a catty little song about women with dead souls who like to do chick stuff. The second part of this reference is based on the book "Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them," written by Susan Forward. The "...and the women who love them" part has been used in countless jokes, parodies, stand-up routines and comedy sketches.
I WONDER -- "I wa-wa-wa-wa-wonder!" - Paraphrase of the chorus from the 1961 hit "Runaway" by Del Shannon.
"I may be WONDERFUL, but I think you're wrong." -
"Kids WORSHIP the darndest things!" - Variation of "Kids Say the Darndest Things," a book by Art Linkletter. Linkletter hosted "Art Linkletter's House Party/The Linkletter Show" from 1952-69 (though it actually began on radio in 1944), and one of the most popular segments was the part where he talked to four young kids, all of whom always had precocious and funny things to say.
"YES DEAR, I'm doing it, dear." - From the British cult classic TV show "Fawlty Towers," starring John Cleese. It only ran for 12 episodes -- six in 1975 and six in 1979 -- all of which are available on videotape. Cleese as Fawlty said this line on more than one occasion, as his wife, Sybil, was always asking/telling him to do something or other.
"It's a Frank Frazetta of Frank ZAPPA." - Frank Frazetta is one of the biggest names in the fantasy/sword and sorcery genre of art. Born in Brooklyn in 1928, he began drawing almost as soon as he could walk. As a grown-up, he created the Buck Rogers comic strip, and drew for "L'il Abner" for nine years. He had a very successful career in comic books and comic strips, as well as in doing covers for paperback books, including the "Tarzan" series in the 1960s. He also did "Little Annie Fannie" in Playboy magazine for a while, along with Harvey Kurtzman, Will Elder, and Jack Davis, all of whom also did a lot of work for Mad Magazine. Frank Zappa, on the other hand, whom this painting does look a bit like, was a rock musician, and his group, The Mothers of Invention, did some of the most eclectic, odd rock and roll of the 1960s. By himself or with his band, he released nearly 50 albums before his death of prostate cancer in 1993. Kevin Murphy, aka Tom Servo, is admittedly a devout Frank Zappa fan, and episode #523 - Village of the Giants ends with a little tribute to him in place of the stinger. (Despite his fondness for Zappa, Kevin gets the date of his death wrong in the "Amazing Colossal Episode Guide." He puts it in 1994, whereas it was actually Dec. 4, 1993.)
"What is this, Jeffrey ZAZLO?" -
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