Mystery Firesign Theatre 3000!

Some background info:
In the late sixties, in Los Angeles, four comedians, Phil Austin, Peter Bergman, Phil Proctor, and David Ossman, created simultaneously a small radio show, Radio Free Oz, and America's Monty Python, The Firesign Theatre. They released two albums (Waiting for the Electrician or Someone Like Him and How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All) before their magnum opus, the Faustian Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers. They produced new albums nearly every year from 1968 to 1985, and recently resumed with the Grammy-nominated Give Me Immortality or Give Me Death.

In 1988 (20 years after the Firesigns' first album), on a Minnesota UHF station, comedian Joel Hodgson launched his groundbreaking comedy show, Mystery Science Theater 3000. But you already know that story.

Yeah, so why are you telling me this?
That's easy. Over MST3K's 10 year (and counting!) run, the makers of the show have inserted many references to the Firesign Theatre's works. Here, for the first time, is my nowhere-near-complete guide to Firesign Theatre references in Mystery Science Theater 3000!

#K21- Legend of the Dinosaur
(Man falls out of raft)
CROW: Boy, he's no fun, he fell right over!
From How Can You Be in Two Places at Once when You're Not Anywhere At All

#204- Catalina Caper
JOEL: (showing his new invention, the Tickle Bazooka) As the Firesign Theatre said, "Fighting's out of style; Fun's where the fear is!"
Misquoted from I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus. THe real quote is "...Fun's where the fair's at" (the album takes place at a future fair)

(Weird surf music plays in background) JOEL: Our name is Zippo!
From Everything You Know Is Wrong (The surf music sounds sort of like the "Real Gas Music From Jupiter")

#213- Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
TOM SERVO: It's Polynesian night at the Firesign! Everyone's welcome.
Anyone know where this one's from?
UPDATE! On 1/31/00, I recieved the following from Danielle Dirienzo:
I was checking out your Firesign References page and I think I can explain the "It's Polynesian night at the Firesign" reference. It's more likely "It's Polynesian night at the Fireside. Everyone's welcome." The Fireside Theater is located in Fort Atkinson, Wisconsin and most anyone in southern Wisconsin or northern Illinois has probably heard of it. It's the type of place where you can watch a performance/play and eat dinner at the same time. You can check their link if interested: www.firesidetheater.com
Huh... That must be where the Firesigns got their name, being from the LA area. Live and learn...

#301- Cave Dwellars
(Shot of a man reading from a scroll)
TOM SERVO: (as man reading) Hmm, let's see... "Quid Malmborg In Plano..."
First spoken in I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus (The phrase was originally etched on a cigarette lighter Phil Proctor found).

#302- Gamera
(Gamera bursts from crevice in the ground)
TOM SERVO: And so, in fear and hot water, the first Slurpee is born!
From I Think We're All Bozos on This Bus (The line was originally "Man is born")

(Shot of a train track)
TOM SERVO: ...One shining steel rail!
From How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere At All

#405- Being From Another Planet
(Joel & the Bots are selling stuff to Frank)
TOM SERVO: ...AND the snake knives, Mrs. Presky!
From Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers

#412- Hercules and the Captive Women
(Shot of a boat with sappy string music playing)
TOM SERVO: Welcome, Dear Friends, to the World of Snails and Adventure, as we board the Golden Hind.
From Don't Crush that Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers.

#413- Manhunt in Space
(Man leaves room, salutes other man)
TOM SERVO: Shoes for industry, compadre!
From Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers, and nearly every album henceforth

#420- The Human Duplicators
Man in movie: You're wrong, doctor!
TOM SERVO: Everything you know is wrong!
Title of Everything You Know is Wrong

#422- The Day the Earth Froze
Man in movie: (Mechanically) I am here with her brother!
TOM SERVO: Ah, Tony.
A misquote from I Think We're All Bozos on This Bus. (The correct line is "Ah, Clem."

#522- Outlaw
(Shot of a dwarf)
CROW: Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers!
Title of Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers

#802- The Leech Woman
(The bots are trying to coax Mike to the bridge)
CROW: [We have] Arnie's whole beef halves-- Just delivered!
From Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliars

Episode Unknown (If you can ID it, e-mail me!)
(Shot of two astronauts, one in a red suit and one in a yellow suit)
"We been shooting reds and yellows all day!"
From Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers

So that's it?
Of course not! I haven't seen very many episodes (I confess!), so I don't know all the refs. If you know of any I've missed, by all means, mail me with the quote and episode, and I'll post it!

Archived: http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Boulevard/4287/mft3k.html on 03/06/01