THE MOVIE GUYS a word with...Mike Nelson 12|23|98 (http://www.rhino.com/projects/MST3K/TMGinterview.html) When most people think about Christmas, they envision Jingle Bells, Santa Claus, snowy landscapes, Patrick Swayze ...What? You don't think of macho, yet sensitive, actor Patrick Swayze during the festive holiday season? Well then, you must not be a fan of the classic Holiday song "Let's Have A Patrick Swayze Christmas" or of the popular sci-fi/comedy show Mystery Science Theater 3000. For over a decade, the intrepid one-man, four-robot crew of the Satellite of Love had been forced to watch the worst movies ever made. For the last several seasons, the lone human presence aboard the Satellite Of Love had been Everyman Michael J. Nelson. Mr Nelson -- or "Mike", as he likes to be called -- took some time out of his busy movie-watching schedule to talk to us via a special uplink set up for us by the lovely 'bot Gypsy. Much like the show itself, not everyone will get our questions, but the right people will. The Movie Guys: How has the fan reaction been since your move to the Sci-Fi Channel? Nelson: It's been pretty good. We think we picked up new fans, and the movie availability, overall, has become better. We finally got the kind of sci-fi films that we really wanted. The Movie Guys: Any chance of you recurring the role of Harvey Fierstein? Nelson: (laughs) That was a one-shot deal. We'll let him parody himself. The Movie Guys: How about Jeff Smith, the Frugal Gourmet? Nelson: Well, he's gotten into some trouble. We'll just leave him alone. The Movie Guys: Morissey? Nelson: That poor, bloodless man. He's seems a little too depressed. The Movie Guys: What does the J stand for? Nelson: Something exceedingly boring...John. My parents wanted to construct the most boring name in History Of Western Civilization. The Movie Guys: You play Mike Nelson on the show, but your real name is also Mike Nelson. What do you sign when people ask for your autograph? "Mike Nelson"? Or Mike Nelson? Nelson: It depends. Sometimes I just can't sustain the character and sign Mike Nelson. Other times, when I'm really into it, I sign Mike Nelson. The Movie Guys: Is Cambot related to the Pimpbot? Nelson: No relation at all. Sorry. The Movie Guys: Where would you rather live; on The Planet Of The Apes or on the Forbidden Planet? Nelson: The Planet Of The Apes. The Movie Guys: Why? Nelson: Because ...It's a madhouse! The Movie Guys: Any truth to the rumors of a MST3K On Ice Show? Nelson: (laughs) The Rumors of the MST3K Ice Show have been greatly exaggerated. Believe it or not, it's actually been suggested, but many,many goofy things have been suggested so far. I just can't imagine a human being squeezing into the Crow costume. It would be exceedingly constrictive, with his little legs pinched into these little tubes. It would be very difficult. The Movie Guys: What inspired you to become a writer? Nelson: Well, I couldn't make it in any other serviceable industry. I was lured away from my lucrative restaurant position to be at Best Brains Studio. I've never really held down a real job for more than a few weeks. This is my first real gig, and I've been really lucky. The Movie Guys: Are there any plans for the movie MST3K: The Sequel? Nelson: There haven't been a lot of calls from the studio to make another movie. But, you never know. Maybe a nearly bankrupt studio would want to pick us up. Actually, after we finished doing the movie, the man who green-lighted the film moved up in power. We went back to visit some friends we made at the studio, and he saw us sitting around the office, and he said,"Hey guys! Back for another sequel? Ha Ha Ha." He just openly mocked us. I don't think there is going to be a sequel. The Movie Guys: In a recent issue of Entertainment Weekly, they named the top six robots of Science Fiction. Crow and Tom Servo were not on the list. Do they feel snubbed? Nelson: They haven't come out of their offices since then. They're stuck in their trailer, ordering up Ho-Hos. You don't want to do that to them. We did make the overall EW Sci-Fi Top 100 list. We were 99 or something like that. The Movie Guys: Senator John Glenn recently made a triumphant return to space in his late 70s. Do you see yourself doing the show at that age? Nelson: (Laughs) I do have a fantasy of me being with a big beer gut, trying to zip back into the suit, just a little bit of a fringe of hair on tip, standing next to the plastic puppets, trying to relive old glories. I would be working over at the used car lot...yeah! I think I will return. The Movie Guys: Whatever happened to the MST3K CD-ROM? Was it ever released? Nelson: No. We started off with great hopes in the company called Voyager. They just never got around to it. They were very, very slow. It was years ago, and I don't understand all the legal problems. The Movie Guys: When is the next MSTie convention? Can we expect a live show again? Nelson: We don't know. They are very difficult to put on, and they're time consuming. We'd like to do another one before the show limps to an end, but there has been no talk of one. Sci-Fi Channel wants to be involved, so it's coordinating two things, We would love to do a live show again. It's been suggested that we do an abbreviated tour of live shows, which I think everyone would be up for, but again, it's such a difficult thing to put on. The Movie Guys: In the '70s, Trekkies launched a successful campaign to name a Space Shuttle the USS Enterprise. Is it true there's another campaign by MSTies to name the next shuttle the USS Torgo? Nelson: (laughs) It's already been done. It will be kind of a limping satellite, with a big bulge on one side. The Movie Guys: Is it true on a recent edition of Prairie Home Companion, it was announced that Tom Servo was named official spokesperson of the American Duct Tape Council and Crow for Powdered Milk Biscuits? Nelson: Wow! I hadn't heard that. I didn't know that anyone listened to that program anymore! I'm just kidding. It's a good show. I usually get about five minutes into Garrisons voice before I begin to doze off. I never have heard that far into it. The Movie Guys: Will there be a MST3K Store in the nearby Mall Of America? Nelson: No...maybe a Tom Servo ride? You could crawl on Servo and load the little kid in his dome and then shoot him up a big ramp, right in the middle of Camp Snoopy in there. The Movie Guys: Is there any truth to the rumor that Crow was the deciding vote in Jesse "The Body" Ventura's bid for Governor of Minnesota? Nelson: He actually stuffed the ballot box, much like Jesse stuffs his tights. I hope they don't do a recount. The Movie Guys: Does Kevin Murphy (the voice of Tom Servo) plan on a singing career? Nelson: He certainly does around here. We hear enough of his voice. The Movie Guys: Will there by a Volume 2 of the music of MST3K? Nelson: Yes. There is one in the works. The Movie Guys: What celebrities attended TV s' Frank's funeral? Nelson: (laughs) They were all second bananas. Fess Parker made it. The Movie Guys: In your opinion, what was the worst Hollywood film released this year? Nelson: Armageddon. That was really, really bad. (whispers) Really bad. Whooh. My eardrums couldn't take it. It was like being tied to a post and being hit over the head with a big, wet sock. If you like that, it was a good movie. The Movie Guys: Can we expect a MST3K Christmas Episode this year? Nelson: No. In fact. The schedule was out. It's too far in the future. The new shows won't air till March. We may do a Christmas movie, but it won't air at Christmas. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Movie Guys Jeffrey K. Howard and David Neil are original, card-carrying MST3K Info Club members. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------