Favorite MST3K Lines MST3K fans sent in the following favorite lines. This list was updated one last time February 1998. Big thanks to everyone who sent lines and e-mail. And now, without further ado . . . ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Movie: "Giant Spider Invasion" Mike: It's a giant spider invasion of savings at Menard's!!!! Movie: "The Horror of Party Beach" Mike: So what is additional dialog anyway? Crow: You know. It's stuff like 'Hey you!', 'Get off that!', and 'Why not?' "He died as he lived, bloated and moist." Movie - Mitchell. Crow: "I'd knock, but I know I'm not home." Movie - Secret Agent Super Dragon. Crow: "Secret Agent Super Dragon in a deadly game of Hungry Hungry Hippo!" "A violent argument erupts over whose day was more pleasant." --Tom Servo, in "A Date With Your Familiy" From The Mole People: At the end..."And a John Agar film was never trusted again." Actor: "It is everything and nothing." Crow: "Could you be a little more vague please?" (Shot of lost child walking through fairground) Servo: "Johnny feels stark hands pressing him onward. The voices in his head get meaner." -"Johnny at the Fair" (Shot of aircraft flying over New York) Servo: "Now Mr. Secretary, you're going to hear a high-pitched whine. That will be the sound of the ambassador's phone melting." -"Fire Maidens From Outer Space" "They Just Didn't Care." -"Attack of the Eye Creatures" Movie: "How do you take your scotch?" Crow: "By the quart." (Mitchell) "The Amazing Collosal Man" Movie: "Do you mind if I smoke?" Joel: "I don't care if you burst into flames!" Crow: The theory of flight? I'll teach you the theory of fist! (From the classic "Cave Dwellers" #301 after the John Saxon-wannabe sees Ator in his prehistoric hangglider) In Hellcats: A credit for Bill Reardon appers on the screen Crow(?):Hey Bill, your rear's done! " So I was sitting by myself and I said " spider"! I crack me up!" Earth vs. the Spider "..Some carrots are humiliated publicly" -Truck Farmer short " I think i'm supposed to get cole slaw and hush puppies with these" Steve from "night of the blood beast" upon realizing he returned to earth filled with shrimp. "Douglas was pear-shaped, very short and stood the whole way."- monster a go-go. "I think you're supposed to strangle me until i'm dead" -red zone cuba "oops, slipped on a little of you're dad, I guess i'll have to throw my shoe in the grave" earth vs. the spider Movie: The Human Duplicators: Blind girl to Kronos: "I know every inch of this place" Tom [using girls' voice]: "(thunk) 'Oops...New inch'" Movie: Collosus Vs. the Head Hunters Tom: "Welcome to Trojan Burger, can I take your order? Movie: The Pod People Tom Servo: "Oh no, I stepped in some Trumpy dumpy." MST3K: The Movie Exeter: Place your hands above the rods. they're magnatized. Crow: "And if your hands were made of metal, that would mean something" MST3K: The Movie (Postman knocks on the door of the lab) Crow: The plot's here! The Creeping Terror. Narrator: Ben asked Martin what he made of the craft. Martin: It's not an airplane. Crow: They never asked Martin another question. The Killer Shrews (one of the characters gets attacked by the shrew) Professor: I have no idea what could've killed him. Tom: I don't know maybe that shrew? The movie: Deathstalker. (Truxardis is talking to Deathstalker) Truxardis: So you're here to kill me for this but it won't work. Tom: It's a simple matter of what the hell is going on?! Crow: "Good, lets escape under the cover of afternoon in the biggest car in the county." Tom: "Louise Fletcher is Clara Barton as Florence Nightingale in "The Piano II: Southern Comfort." Movie: "Look at what you can do trumpy!" Crow: "It's called evil kid." MST3K The Movie: This Island Earth Actor: "You know what my wife could use around the house?" Crow: "A man?" Actor: "You know what my kids would say right now?" Crow: "Your not my real dad!" Dialogue : "I'm not used to seeing women walk away from you." Joel(?) : "Yeah, they usually run away screaming." Man looking into a woman's eyes:"You have beautiful eyes" Crow: "Can I have one?" Movie: Leech Woman Season 8, 2 episode. Crow: Tuh! Typical British solution, throw dynamite at the problem! Tom: Outer space in a prop plane? I don't think so! Mr. B Natural: I've been around for a long, long time Crow: Uh-huh. Mr B: I was in the garden with Adam and Eve! Crow: He was the snake. Mr. B: Knew your father, I did! Crow: Hey, you leave my father out of this! Mr. B: You must inspect your horn, boy! Crow: And wash it every day. Tom: Yeah, uh.... huh? Tom Servo: I think a Sampo is a strappless evening gown. Crow: You think everything is a strappless evening gown. Tom: I just think they're neat. (from "The Day the Earth Froze") Movie: Cave Dwellers Crow: How much Keefe is in this movie? Joel and Tom Servo: Miles O'Keefe Movie: Circus on Ice You got your circus on my ice... You got your ice on my circus.. Two great tastes that taste great together! Ator: "Man's destiny is pre-determined." Joel: "Oh, he's a Calvinist!" Movie: Some escaping fugitives are told to "hurry up" by thier leader Joel: "See if you can move faster than the plot!" Movie: "Sky Divers" "I think they forgot to have stuff happen in this movie" "Good Night! Stay pink,soft,and oily!" - Crow, at the stirring conclusion of "Hired" part2, ep. 424 (Manos!, the Hands of Fate) "Do I please you? Do you find me pleasing?!" - Crow, reacting to the stern but lovable Dr.Buehler in the short "Using Your Voice", who urges us to "be heard, understood and pleasing". "Okay,back in the case!" - Crow, responding to the laughable attempt at pathos when Chase picks up his little sister after she walks across the room to him demonstrating her new leg braces. in "The Giant Gila Monster". "Eleanor Roosevelt's pissed!" - Joel, responding to a reaction shot of a snooty woman after Jimmy's prize winning essay about his happy home is revealed as a fraud when Jimmy's mom shows up bombed at his school in "I Accuse My Parents". Movie: (Charater of Sinbad is singing on screen) Crow: "Take it to the bridge Sinbad! Drop it in the water. Movie: My, my, my, my Mitchell Crow: My, my, my , my God!!! Joel: "The machine doesn't see Herc the way we see him. The machine sees Herc as a series of ones and zeros." - Hercules against the Moon Men Movie: "I see an opening!" Joel: "Great, let's fill out an application!" - Earth vs. the Spider Joel: "They're not dead. They're metaphysically challenged." - The Magic Sword Joel: "What was the CIA's single greatest failure of the 1960's?" Crow: "The Kennedy assassination...?" Joel: "Sorry, that was a success." Crow: "I want to decide who lives and who dies!" Joel: "Oh, I don't know . . ." Joel: "You're never gonna grow old, you're never gonna die, and you'll always eat oatmeal." Crow: "24 hour technical service? Takes you 24 hours just to pick up the stupid phone!!" Crow: "This movie just DARES you to watch it!" "Why don't they look? Why don't they look?" "It stinks!" "Think about it, won't you? Thank you." "If you're like me, and I know I am..." "I bet Jack could catch that kid if he turned the A.C. off in that Caddy." "I'm gonna get Medieval on your ass!" "When you're out of slits, you're out of pier." "I think it was very brave of them to make this movie without the suspense." Character: "Hey Joe!" Tom Servo: "Where you goin' with that gun in your hand?" Movie dialogue: "The good die first." Tom: "But most of us are morally ambiguous, which explains our random dying patterns." Ator: "Man's destiny is not determined." Joel: "Oh, he's a Calvanist." - Cave Dwellers "You look, I'm bitter" Many thanks to those who sent lists of favorite lines: Chicane, Stephanie Atwood, unix_id, BAFox, Adam, Eric, Arroway, The Humphreys Family, Robert, CErikPete, squid kid, thelma, Wan2three, No.response.desired, Scott, Amanda, Brandon, Samuel, Phishman, sz, JYDog1, Elaine Sever, Catherine H Sumner, Stephen Davis, jmgould, fender, robertsj, TVsCrow, baars4, Snuh, Dan Shapiro, Shayera Janota, Jason Wood, Frank P. Offenheimer, MICHELE L MANION, DKpunk45, Gail S. Newcomb, KEMC, Criss & Carolyn Shaw, Frank P. Offenheimer, Threnody, Freak0ut33, Leslie Alexander, Shena Grenier, busboy, Mirage119, Richard Davis, SPORLACK, Peter Christian, Tworusted, Haohong Wang, Norman, Peggy Finch, ReBecca Dinger, Patrick Grimes, Chris Tikalsky, Nick Schmidt, Matt Jorgensen, Thatcher, CrnflkGrrl, wtref5, MGibbone, Chrisbyars, kc55, JN35777, Krufkafs, Capt, Nicole Proskurniak, Bethany, Chbray, Mbierbau, Morrison, Dogface03, Bill Flynn, Brandy Marrs, Bish, CBrown4949, Bonnie May, Jeffrey Johnson, Joe McMahon, Steve Campbell, James W. Stennett, Trisha in Nashville, David R. Morris, Kelly Ahern, Ian McIntire, and Sean Patterson. If you have a favorite line from MST3K, keep it to yourself. I'm not updating this list anymore. Sorry! Thanks again to all who contributed! Feel free however to e-mail me anyway at DD@CyberJunkie.com ©1995, 96, 97, 98 by Mark Weissburg. (http://www.cris.com/~outlawyr/faveline.htm)