USER-SUBMITTED QUOTES 03 - mst3k.booyaka.com --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright #1993 Best Brains, Inc. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by Best Brains, The Sci-Fi Channel, Comedy Central, or their respective employees. The information herein is subject to being wrong. This list is free to distribute as long as this notice remains intact. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Tonight, the brilliant career of Dick Sargent, on 'Biography'..." -Crow (PTCH) "He's got the finely-toned body of a pro-golfer ..." -Tom Servo (PTCH) "HQ, my hat looks like a muffin, over." -Crow (as Clonus guard) (PTCH) "Uh, sir, does he have to be nude for a simple hangnail operation?" -Tom Servo (PTCH) "The real story of Taco Bell ..." -Mike (PTCH) "He's like a sensitive Steve Gutenberg ..." -Crow (PTCH) "The beer can struggles upstream to spawn ..." -Mike (PTCH) "The 'Go-As-Slow-As-You-Can-Without-Tipping-Over' race ..." -Crow (PTCH) "Parts: The visible pantyline horror ..." -Mike (PTCH) "Um, shouldn't we wrestle and slap each other now?" -Crow (PTCH) "Only you can prevent groin fires ..." -Tom Servo (PTCH) "You've got monster" -tom servo (boggy creek 2) "He's a nurse's aide who doesn't play by the rules ..." -Crow (PTCH) "I'm gonna amortize the crap out of these spreadsheets ..." -Crow (PTCH) "Trot ... trot for my life ..." -Mike (PTCH) "What??? No crackers?" -Crow (Incredible Melting Man) "OK men, Private Reese is feeling vulnerable today ... now who wants to cheer him up?" -Tom Servo (as Commander) (BOTE) "OK, OK, forget locusts: giant panda bears, and they can fly ..." -Mike (as Peter Graves) (BOTE) "I've just come to see what you've done with all the grant mone-- OH MY GOD!!!!" -Crow (BOTE) "When Brian Eno ruled Chicago ..." -Tom Servo (BOTE) "They're diving for chum ..." -Crow (CC) "I think they sent the wrong people to 'Nam, Joel ..." -Crow (CC) "Oh, he's down to one girl huh? It's getting bad ..." -Joel (CC) "Look, he's talking to the sound man lying on the floor ..." -Tom Servo (MN) "At one time, a Singapore Sling would've been the only answer." "Now, I want a Peanut Buster Parfait ..." -Joel (MN) "At the end of the war, I found myself in Japan, with a ticket home and nowhere to go ..." "Why didn't you go *home*?" -Crow (MN) "Next, on a very special 'Trapper John' ..." -Tom Servo (MN) "I have a bad feeling about that knick-knack shelf ..." -Crow (MN) "You know, I'm learning a lot more about this guy's nasal hair than I ever wanted to know ..." -Joel (COFMC) ""Dah dah dah dah dah CRAP CRAP, CRAP CRAP, dah dah dah dah dah CRAP CRAP, CRAP CRAP!"" -Crow (Space Mutiny) ""And our hero bravely roasts the disabled guy!"" -Servo (Space Mutiny) "No one will be seated during the gripping 'water cooler' scene ..." -Crow (BOTM) "You know, you take a chance at *every* bed-and-breakfast ..." -Crow (BOTM) "It started getting weird a little while ago, didn't it?" -Joel (MVOS) "Ah, yes, the 'Concerto in A Minor for Cello and Werewolf' ..." -Crow (W) "Turns out there are small parts *and* small actors ..." -Mike (W) ""Mike, could you hand me my map......ah yes, there is is, "Breach Hull = ALL DIE." I even underlined it!"" -Crow (TM) "Tor prefers a more traditional wedding ..." -Crow (BOTM) "This is why Tor never got raises - he's so slow!" "Well, you know his attitude is, you know, do you want it done *now*, or do you want it done *right*?" -Crow, Tom Servo (BOTM) "Rimmsky Korsakov? Oh, this must have been one of his early films .." -Cro (MVOS) "Keanu Reeves in: My Own Private Airfield." -Tom Servo (TM) "This is the most expensive version of Battle Chess I've ever seen!" -Joel (MVOS) "Saay ... this *is* a -joint- operation ..." -Tom Servo (FMFOS) "Well, I wet 'em. You?" -Tom Servo (FMFOS) "Oh no, not liturgical dance! No!" -Tom Servo (FMFOS) "You know, this may be the wrong ride. Are you Steve?" -Tom Servo (M) "Keith Haring was here!" -Crow (M) "Why are they playing Nadia's theme?" -Crow (M) "Well, she was gonna smell like beer sooner or later ..." -Tom Servo (M) "Yes, the Lincoln Continental: perfect for off-road excitement!" -Tom Servo (M) ""Eastman, he came out of the East to do battle with the AMAZING RANDO!!"" -Crow (TM) "I'm experiencing a feeling altogether new to me, and frankly, I LOVE IT!" -Tom Servo (TM) "that's not a rock, it's mutated poop." -Tom Servo (TM) "Put the men's room in the tower... What was I thinking ?!?" -Tom Servo (TM) "Our licorice ice cream cones melted... we can't have nice things!" -Tom Servo (TM) ""Marge simpson behind that wall."" -Mike (It lived by Night) "Ook Oook Ook.. I mean Squeek Squeek" -Tom Servo (It Lived By Night) "gomez! i've invented the wheel!!" -tom servo (cave dwellers) "Looks like potatoes" -Crow (Pod People) "We got little elves, that go in, take care of it ..." -Crow (TBTWD) ""No one can resist my, uhhh... things!"" -Crow () ""And that would mean something, if my hands were metal.."" -Crow (Movie) "The rare "male camel-toe" ..." -Crow (RWD) "See? Crackers and hicks CAN get along ..." -Crow (rwd) "This is all very interesting ... but are my photos ready yet?" -Mike (RWD) "Trumpy, you can do stupid things!" -Crow (Pod People) "Joe Don Baker: "Come on in, it's open" "Oh no, WHAT'S open?!"" -Joe Don/Mike (Final Justice) "By this time, my lungs were aching for air!" -Crow () "Oh man, you do NOT want Jon Don throwing a stool at you." -Mike (Final Justice) ""You know this is dangerous, 'cus Jon Don could lay down a torpedo at any time." -Mike (Final Justice) "Joe Don Baker's Famous delayed reaction farts." -Tom Servo (Final Justice) "The I ram my ovipositer down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest. But I'm not an alien!" -Tom Servo (MST3K the movie) "The riveting and action-packed "accomodation scene" ..." -Crow (TFTY5K) "Hi-Keeba!" -Wendell Corey (104) "What's this 'and the rest...' crap!?" -Mike Nelson (Movie) "Uh, Torgo, that's not how you wear your Depends.." -Joel (Manos:THoF) "Hmmm, suddenly I have a refreshing mint flavor..." -Mike (Movie) "You guys watch Joe Don Baker movies?!?!" -Mike (Mitchell) "Reynolds Wrap keeps freshness in; can't keep Joe Don out" -Joel (Mitchell) "You know, they really captured that kind of situation, didn't they?" -Crow (Skydivers) "Do you know what 'playing' is, Trumpy?" "Yes, it's where I break you in half ..." -tommy & crow (Pod People) "It stinks!" -joel,dr.f,tv's frank (Pod People) "Haah!! Gym-collie" -Crow "'That Megaweapon is one bad mother--' 'shut you're mouth!' 'but im just talkin bout megaweapon!' 'we can dig it' -crow, joel, tom servo (Warrior of the Lost World) "Thank you for flying 'me' airways..." -Crow (the movie) ""It is EASTMAN! He comes from the EAST to do battle with the great RANDO!"" -Tom Servo (The Movie) ""Hotwheels."" -Tom Servo (Secret Agent Super Dragon) ""Santa Claus was killed in vietnam today..."" -Tom Servo ""Who is MERRITT STONE?!"" -Tom Servo (419-The Rebel Set) "Oh, great, I'm dead, AND, I'm breaking out!" -Mike (HOPB) "I had a generally positive view of white people before this movie ..." -Crow (HOPB) "Could you guys make a loop of this and play it for, like, 30 hours?" -Mike (HOPB) "It's fun to get a tiny portion of my hair wet!" -Crow (HOPB) "That's not how you make sun tea!" -Mike (HOPB) "Take a right on 'Monster-Killing-Girls' Road ..." -Crow (HOPB) "Sounds like .. something big, walking in mud ..." "Joe Don Baker?" -Girl / Crow (HOPB) "Ah, yes, the sweeping majesty of young white Republican love ..." -Tom Servo (HOPB) "The intervention didn't go as planned ..." -Tom Servo (HOPB) "Oh my gosh, I've placed my leg against a rock!" -Mike (HOPB) "I'm huge!" -Joel (Cave Dwellers)