"Now that Sidehacking is so big, it's really interesting to see its humble origins..."	-Joel	(SH)			
"Uh.. Boss, that's airplane glue ..."	-Tom Servo	(SH)			
"Well, it was 'bout this time the ol' Duke boys decided to show ol' Boss Hogg what Sidehacking was all about ..."	-Crow	(SH)			
"You know, mixing dice with chess really speeds up the game, Karpov."	-Tom Servo	(SH)			
"The obe represents this slag heap."	-Tom Servo	(SH)			
"Kooky's got a plan, and this is part of it!"	-Joel	(SH)			
"Oh, is she still riding her bike?  Good, for a minute I was afraid the director wasn't going to make that clear enough!"	-Crow	(SH)			
"He's got a thing or two to learn about tying people to furniture ..."	-Tom Servo	(SH)			
"Oh, thank goodness, they found a dremel tool with a cutting blade!"	-Joel	(SH)			
"Uh, ma'am, I believe this is *my* hotel room ..."	-Joel	(SH)			
"Iowa-PD Blue ..."	-Tom Servo	(OCC)			
"As for railroad crossings ... "  "Forget 'em ..."	-Crow	(OCC)			
"I wonder if she's going to be in Genesis 2: The Next Generation?"	-Crow	(ST)			
"John Tesh, at the keyboards ..."	-Joel	(ST)			
"This used to be a wetlands preserve in North Dakota.  Well, we've shellacced it and covered it with an acrylic polymer..."	-Tom Servo	(ST)			
"I meant to say, clear the launch pad - sorry, sorry ..."	-Joel	(ST)			
"Before this decade is out, we will make a boring movie called Space Travellers ..."	-Crow	(ST)			
"Orion 1, this is Ironman, how do you copy, over?" "On a Xerox machine, you?"	-Crow	(ST)			
"Look here, this is where he wets 'em.  Sad, really ..."	-Joel	(ST)			
"Millions of dollars spent on the space program, and no one thought of camera straps!?"	-Crow	(ST)			
"Yeah, we had a quote from Mr. Hackman, he said 'Auuggghhhhh!!!!!'"	-Crow	(ST)			
"I do love the Weather Channel, it's good.  It really is good."	-Joel	(ST)			
"Think I'll play a little Super Mario, if you don't mind ..."	-Crow (as Gregory Peck)	(ST)			
"Jim, quick!  Throw us your Rolex!"	-Tom Servo	(ST)			
"If you have a husband in space, press 1.  If you have a dead husband in space, press 2 ..."	-Tom Servo	(ST)			
"Oh, he must be scouting locations for 'Dukes of Hazzard'."	-Joel	(TKS)			
"Guys, guys, this was covered in the voiceover at the beginning of the movie!"	-Tom Servo	(TKS)			
"Uh, please don't drink from the bidet ..."	-Joel	(TKS)			
"Tears of shame pour down Tommy's face ..."	-Crow	(PP)			
"Two people per scene, please."	-Crow	(TKS)			
"I think he's taking acting lessons from William Shatner ..."	-Crow	(TCH)			
"Never burn your abridges ..."	-Tom Servo	(TCH)			
"Eat, drink and be merry, for tommorrow you die!" "Well, no, wouldn't it be today, if there was a fireball last night?"	-Tom Servo	(TCH)			
"How do you say "moon" in Swedish?"	-Joel	(TCH)			
"Can I take just one practice shot at you, or ..."	-Tom Servo	(TCH)			
"If you wanna catch a human hand, you have to *think* like a human hand ..."	-Crow	(TCH)			
"I think the doctor's been spending a little too much time in the rat lab ..."	-Joel	(TCH)			
"You know things are bad when you keep a liquor cabinet in the bedroom ..."	-Joel	(TCH)			
"The ratio of pullets and cockrels among chicks is about 50-50 ..."  "That's great ... what're those?"	-Crow	(COT)			
"I said, *speed* is essential!" -Crow   (COT)					
"Altogether, room for thousands of guests ..."  "Or chickens, typically."	-Mike	(COT)			
"Eggs are complicated, they should cost like a hundred dollars each ..."	-Mike	(COT)			
"The farmers bring their crates of eggs to market the day before the auction ..."  "... alternatively, they may bring their eggs early the day *of* the auction ..."	-Tom Servo	(COT)			
"Did America really need to be sold on the automotive industry at this point?"	-Mike	(COT)			
"Boy, those 'No Brute Man' laws are really starting to pinch ..."	-Crow	(TBM)			
"Objects on my face may appear closer than they really are ..."	-Crow (as the Brute Man)	(TBN)			
"That was a long, dull, scene, congratulations."	-Tom Servo	(TBM)			
"Mr. Moffet, I have never spanked a senior before ..."	-Mike	(TBM)			
"We're into some *deep* creepin' here..."	-Mike	(TBM)			
"I don't want to be *a* creeper, I want to be *the* creeper!"	-Mike	(TBM)			
"Oh no, his creeping has turned into wandering ..."	-Mike	(TBM)			
"Uh oh .... you know when there's four people on a screenplay, there's gonna be trouble ..."	-Crow	(D-007)			
"Body Care and Grooming .. they're cops ..."	-Tom Servo	(BCG)			
"But good grooming is more than clothes-deep."   "It's about being snowy white ..."	-Joel	(BCG)			
"One of these is is cleansing cream ..."   "One of these is nitric acid - choose wisely ..."	-Tom Servo	(BCG)			
"Uh oh ... sounds like it's going to be an epic ..."	-Joel	(TPH)			
"He had sand on his lap and he needed help?"	-Crow	(TPH)			
"You know, his head just doesn't have the structural support for that hair ..."	-Crow	(TPH)			
"Oh Jonathan, why'd he have to die?"  "You must have done something wrong, Tommy ..."	-Joel	(TPH)			
"Gut check time, Tommy ..."	-Joel	(TPH)			
"Hey, everybody, Tommy's in there, crying like a little girl ..."	-Joel	(TPH)			
"6000 dollars?"  "No, drachmas ...."	-Crow	(TPH)			
"I aim to just work upstream until I find it.  And I will; as sure as your name is Len Taylor ... "   "My name's Tom Wopan! ..."	-Joel	(TPH)			
"Kenny Rogers is ... Moses."	-Tom Servo	(TPH)			
"Two things I love above all else ... "  "Larry, and Balki."	-Crow	(TPH)			
"So this guy comes in, stops the plot cold, and leaves!"	-Crow	(TPH)			
"You know, Lassie's really not that hungry - she just ... dug up Jonathan and, well, ah ..."	-Joel	(TPH)			
"Yeah, I don't drink close to the horses, personally ..."	-Joel	(TPH)			
"These are scenes we *didn't* see in The Searchers ..."	-Tom Servo
"Tommy, you like refried pois--BEANS, beans!?"	-Tom Servo	
"When did they build a corral?"  "They used Corral Draw!"	-Tom Servo
"The Painted Hills: Bloodquest II ..."	-Joel	(TPH)			
"Why can't Nick be fun like George is?"	-Joel	(WTDOAD)
"Hey guys, what's a 'weenie roast'?"	-Crow	(WTDOAD)	
"Why's he taking orders from a crossing guard?"	-Crow	(SD)	
"The true story of Land's End ..."	-Crow	(SD)	
"You know, I've always heard *bad* things about being held hostage ... "	-Crow	(SD)	
"What, they get drunk and make shorts?!"	-Joel	(SD)	
"What you are watching now, should have been edited in the final version, my apologies ..."	-Crow (as the Announcer)	(ADWYF)	
"Ahh ... the purpose of the movie, finally revealed ..."	-Joel	(SD)
"Oh no, they forgot to hang the hostages ten feet off the ground!"	-Joel	(SD)	
"OK now, remember, our rule: only one dead at each place!"	-Joel	(SD)	
"Hey - hey ... Roger's getting footage for another movie!!"	-Joel	(SD)	
"Herb Alpert plays ... the haunting 'Swamp Diamond' love theme ..."	-Joel	(SD)	
"I could use an overdose of Dramamine right about now ..."	-Tom Servo	(SD)
"It's a reenactment of the breakup of the Judds ..."	-Joel	(SD)
""The 10 Commandments" had a smaller cast than this ..."	-Mike	(TSD)
"Someone with Attention Deficit Disorder edited this film ..."	-Crow	(TSD)	
"What's the point of a helmet in skydiving?  In case you land on your head?"	-Crow	(TSD)	
"Doodles Weaver is ... Eraserhead."	-Crow	(TSD)	
"They *really* captured that kind of situation, didn't they?"	-Crow	(TSD)
"It seems like they forgot to ... have things happen ... in this movie."	-Mike	(TSD)
"Coffee?  What is this ... 'coffee'?"	-Crow	(TSD)	
"I predict, that in the climactic finale, she jumps without a chute - and then her *hair* opens up ..."	-Mike	(TSD)
"You said to jump *toward* the propeller, right?"	-Tom Servo	(TSD)	
"Hey! From here it looked like his chute didn't op-- --pen."	-Mike	(TSD)	
"This is how much pure cocaine it would take to enjoy this film."	-Mike	(OATMB)	
"They look like rejects from the Renaissance festival ..."	-Crow	(HC)	
"Looks like she's really into safe *walking*."	-Joel	(HC)	
"He's broken a new world record for boredom!"	-Tom Servo	(HC)