MST3K Episode 604 - Zombie Nightmare

"Zombie Nightmare" is one of the more youthful films in the MST library. Others have dealt with teen-agers, of course, but most of them were made years and years ago, whereas "Zombie" comes from the '80s. (Besides, those "teen-agers" in the other movies all look so old.) It is possibly because of this youth connection, combined with the heavy-metal-heavy soundtrack, that references to rock groups abound in this episode, moreso than usual. (Note how the '70s references were increased in the very-'70s "Laserblast." It seems that certain parts of the Best Brains' brains are easily triggered by what they see in the movie.)

In the last host segment, watch how Gypsy's mouth hits Crow in the head and he has to move out of the way. It must get crowded down there, with three puppeteers, plus Mike's legs, all trying to occupy approximately the same space.

Finally, there's one thing in the movie that we're amazed they missed, and we suspect it may have been on purpose. In the scene when the dead hunk's body is brought back to his mother's house, and the paramedics arrive, one of them looks exactly like Joel Hodgson. He's the one who says, "Sure, Mrs. Washington." Look at him! It's Joel's twin brother! Either the writers missed this, or it was a conscious attempt to let the whole Joel thing go and not refer to it. In fact, the only overt reference to Joel after his departure was in 521 - Santa Claus, when Gypsy gives Mike a scarf she knitted with the name "JOIKE" on it: She started making it for "the old guy," and then Mike came along. With so many of the fans in such an uproar (have you READ the way some of them behaved on the Internet?!), it may have been wise to avoid mentioning Mike's predecessor too often, because the healing can never begin until you've left the past behind, or something like that.

HOST SEGMENTS:

"Hang in there old chum, ALFRED don't touch me, Harriet, Aunt Harriet!" - "Batman" references, which there are plenty of in this episode. Alan Napier played Alfred Pennyworth, Batman's trusty manservant; Madge Blake played Dick Grayson (Robin)'s aunt Harriet Cooper.

"ALL THINGS CONSIDERED." - Daily news program on NPR (National Public Radio). It's existed since at least the early '80s; even at the NPR website, there aren't many details about the history of the show. Cokie Roberts used to be a host, but doesn't appear to be anymore; she is still a reporter for NPR, though.

BABALU - Desi Arnaz, as Ricky Ricardo on "I Love Lucy" (1951-57), used this word to describe his music. More details as to its origin are hopefully forthcoming. It is used here merely as a nonsense, voodoo-sounding word.

"I think Jimmy CARTER deserves a hug." - Indeed he does. While Carter wasn't taken too seriously while he served as our 39th president, history has been kind to him and the general public's attitude toward him now seems for favorable and respectful. (You have to realize, he was president during the disco era, and while he may not have been responsible for disco music, he certainly didn't do anything to stop it.) He was born in 1924 in Plains, Georgia, and grew up in nearby Archery. He became a lieutenant in the Navy and helped devlop the nuclear submarine. He got interested in politics and public affairs in the late '50s and was elected to the Georgia Senate in 1962. He served as Georgia governor beginning in 1971, and in 1976 was elected President of the United States. Being from the South, he was the target of many jokes; his embarrassing lout of a brother Billy didn't help matters any. Since leaving office in 1981, Carter has been heavily involved in humanitarian efforts, particularly in underdeveloped nations. If you'd like to read a nice biography that glosses over the bad stuff, click here.

"Do you feel pretty crappy now that DANGER THEATRE and Last Precinct have been canceled?" - "Danger Theatre" (July-August 1993) was a parody of adventure/crime shows. It featured two segments, "The Searcher" and "Tropical Punch"; Adam West appeared in the latter as a police chief in Hawaii. "The Last Precinct" ran for only seven episodes in 1986. From cop show guy Stephen Cannell, it was a semi-comedy about an L.A. police precinct full of troublemakers and wackmeisters. Adam West was the captain of the precinct.

"I used to like you when you were a Caped Crusader, even better than DARTH VADER." - Evil dark bad guy voiced by James Earl Jones in the "Star Wars" movies. Darth Vader, we learn in "Empire Strikes Back" (1980) was actually Luke's father, Anikan Skywalker, but had turned to the dark side and had to change his name, sort of like when Cassius Clay turned Muslim and became Mohammed Ali, I guess.

"Do you feel pretty crappy now that Danger Theatre and LAST PRECINCT has been canceled?" - See DANGER THEATRE.

QVC - Used here for nonsense purposes, QVC is a cable home-shopping channel, wherein tawdry merchandise is paraded about and then sold to people who have somehow obtained credit cards and are capable of dialing phones.

"RIDDLE ME THIS, Batman." - Frank Gorshin played the Riddler on the "Batman" series (1966 68). The character would always begin his little schemes by giving Batman clues that he somehow expected him never to figure out. And they would begin, "Riddle me this, Batman." He laughed a lot like this, too. (By the way, Jim Carrey played Riddler in 1995's "Batman Forever" movie.)

"I think you should give Cokie ROBERTS a scalp massage." - Cokie Roberts indeed was the host of "All Things Considered" (see that entry), and is still apparently affiliated with NPR. We can't find much biographical information on her, though. If Ms. Roberts would like to contact us directly, we'd appreciate it.

SHAZAM - Shazam comes from Marvel Comics, made into a live-action Saturday morning kids show in 1974-77. It involved a regular guy named Billy Batson who could turn himself into Captain Marvel by saying the word "Shazam!" (We don't understand the physics of it either; we've tried it, and it doesn't work for us.) We also seem to recall hearing the word elsewhere, but can't remember where.

VIACOM - Media conglomerate that has its hand in everything from TV to movies to publishing. The name is probably most familiar because the logo appears after the closing credits of the TV shows it owns. Among them are "Frasier," "Hill Street Blues," "Gunsmoke," and several VH-1 shows (e.g., "Storytellers"). See their website here.

MOVIE SEGMENTS:

"I've got to seriously consider that offer from A&W." - A&W are the manufacturers of the fine A&W root beer; they also own a chain of hamburger joints.

"I'm really disappointed that ABBA weren't on the soundtrack." - ABBA was a Swedish pop group in the '70s, its name formed from the band members' first initials (Agnetha, Benny, Bjorn, and Anni-Frid). Their manager, Stig Anderson, wrote most of their lyrics. Since Agnetha and Anni Frid (who later married the two men in the group) already had successful solo careers in Sweden, ABBA was technically a "supergroup." ABBA had hits in Europe and the U.S. with 1976's "Dancing Queen," as well as "Take a Chance on Me." Their songs were generally danceable, disco type radio friendly ditties, and Erasure released an ABBA cover album entitled "ABBA-esque," which has done quite well. See also the CHESS entry. Read a biography of ABBA here.

the ACADEMY... "Who I'd like to thank." - Winners' speeches at the Academy Awards ceremonies after include mentions of wanting to thank the Academy for nominating and voting for them. The "Academy" is the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, a collection of actors, producers, directors and other movie types.

"The AGE OF AQUARIUS." - Song from the '60s hippie musical "Hair," made into a movie in 1979.

"I'm not an unbeliever, I'm an AGNOSTIC." - An agnostic is defined as one who says it cannot be known whether or not God exists, and he therefore takes no stand on the issue. An agnostic, then, is not necessarily an "unbeliever"; his position is simply that he has no position.

"The teenage ANDY CAPP." - He looks like the comic strip character, especially with the hat. "Andy Capp" is a comic strip from England, where alcoholism and loveless marriages are apparently a bit funnier than they are here. Andy Capp is a worthless husband who drinks, cheats on his wife Flo, and is usually unemployed. Flo does all the work, both in and out of the house. Occasionally funny, but so bitter and hateful underneath the surface, it's hard to enjoy it. Reg Smythe draws it.

"Larry Mondello as the BABE." - See MONDELLO.

"I saw Fist when they opened for BADFINGER." - Obviously just a little pun here, but we'll tell you a little about Badfinger anyway. They began in Wales in the mid-'60s, started by Peter William Ham. Originally called the Iveys, they performed in Welsh clubs for a while, performing with other young bands like Moody Blues, the Hollies, and the Who. Their demo tape came to the attention of Paul McCartney and George Harrison, who were influential in getting Apple Records to sign them on in 1967. A few moderately successful singles followed in Europe. McCartney had them record his song "Come and Get It," which became their first big hit in the U.S. and U.K. in 1970. They remained connected with Harrison, touring with Harrison as he produced their albums, though their contact with McCartney diminished after that. Their 1971 album "Straight Up" is considered their best studio album. Mismanagement and poorly conceived deals with record labels eventually led to Badfinger's demise in the mid-'70s. Read the whole story here.

"Whoa, Stif BAITOR's pissed." -

"Rick BAKER, you've done it again." - Rick Baker is probably the most respected make up/special effects artist in Hollywood today. He has done make-up and/or "creature effects" for "Men in Black" (1997), "The Nutty Professor" (1996, for which he won an Academy Award), "Batman Forever" (1995), "Ed Wood" (1994), "Harry and the Hendersons" (1987, another Oscar), Disneyland's "Captain E-O" film, Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video (1984), "An American Werewolf in London" (1981, yet another Oscar), "Star Wars" (1977), and "The Incredible Melting Man" (1977, MST #704).

What is so funny? "Did you see Russell BAKER's column this morning?" - Newspaper columnist, often funny, always well-written. We couldn't find a decent biography of him with any more background information.

"Read the BANTAM book." - Slogan heard at the end of many movies' commercials, or at least shown on the screen, suggesting that people buy the "novelization" of the film. Bantam is a publishing company dealing primarily in paperbacks.

"Giant, like L.T? Sims? BAVARO?" - We may not have heard these names right. We assume these are either baseball players (San Francisco Giants) or football players (New York Giants); either way, we're clueless.

"It's 5 a.m., and Mr. Zombie's day is just BEGINNING." -

"Shari BELAFONTE in 'Harper.'" - Here Molly looks like Share Belafonte-Harper, actress who is the daughter of singer Harry Belafonte ("Day-O"). She appeared in "Time Walker" (1982), also known as "Being from another Planet" -- MST #405. There actually was a film called "Harper" (1966), starring Paul Newman and Lauren Bacall, but we can see no reason why it would be referred to here except to make a little joke with Shari Belafonte's name.

Valerie BERTINELLI - Our hero does indeed look like Valerie Bertinelli. She's best known for her role as younger daughter Barbara on "One Day at a Time" (1975-84). Since then, she has appeared occasionally on shows, including the short-lived "Sydney" in 1990. She has also done several TV movies, including the mini-series "I'll Take Manhattan" (1987) and two-parter "In a Child's Name" (1991).

"Guests being stalked by zombies stay in BEST WESTERN hotels." - Talk shows, particularly daytime shows like Oprah and Ricki Lake, often put their guests up in hotels and then advertise which ones at the end of the show. "Saturday Night Live" does this too, or at least they used to. ("SNL" isn't on in Utah, for some reason, and so we haven't seen it much lately.) Best Western is a line of moderately priced, reasonably nice hotels. Talk show guests are usually put someplace a little nicer, but Best Western is probably OK.

"Think this speaks for a whole generation like 'Reality Bites,' or 'The BIG CHILL?'" - "Reality Bites" (1994) was a Ben Stiller-directed film starring himself, Winona Ryder, Ethan Hawke and Janeane Garofalo. Supposedly, it was the representative movie for Generation X, although, as members of Generation X, we disagree. (Eric points out that while he certainly knows a lot of Gen Xers like the characters in the movie, he doesn't like them. Can someone be of a generation and not like the way his fellow generationers behave?) "The Big Chill" (1983) was the same deal, supposedly, for the Baby Boomers. It starred Tom Berenger, William Hurt, Jeff Goldblum, Kevin Kline, and others.

"If Mr. BLACKSTONE was a zombie, he'd kill her just for her skirt." - Mr. Blackstone is a famous fashion critic who is always producing Best- and Worst-Dressed lists.

"Danny BONADUCE on any given morning." - Danny Bonaduce is best known for playing the little red-headed kid on "The Partridge Family" (1970-74). Several years ago, he was involved in some sort of scandal wherein he beat up a transvestite prostitute. Since then he has hosted his own short-lived daytime talk show, and he's now a DJ at a Detroit radio station. This reference is more to the way he's let himself go to pot these days than to actual physical appearance.

"Lisa BONET on any given day." - Add Lisa Bonet to the list of people that Molly looks like in this film. Lisa Bonet first became famous as Denise Huxtable on "The Cosby Show" (1984-92). She left that show for her own spin-off, "A Different World" (1987-93), but returned home again after only a year. She appeared with Mickey Rourke and Robert De Niro in "Angel Heart" (1987); her steamy sex scene with Rourke almost got the film an X rating. She's married to singer Lenny Kravitz.

"A Francis Ford Coppola production, of a Kenneth BRANAUGH film, Garrick Utley in Ally Sheedy's 'Frankenstein." - See COPPOLA.

"He just pretended it was Tim BURTON." - When it was announced that Tim Burton was making a new "Batman" movie, to be released in 1989, Adam West, who had played the role on TV 20 years earlier, naturally assumed he would be asked to reprise the part. When Burton decided to go the serious, rather than campy, route, and got Michael Keaton instead, West was quite upset. Despite the fact that he's now very old and not very thin, and who the hell wants to see him in tights?

"John CAGE on the soundtrack." - John Cage was an American composer who died in 1992. He occasionally actually did film soundtracks, but not very often. Mostly, he wrote pieces for the piano and -- and this is the key -- many other odd "instruments." Some pieces call for telephones, geiger counters, duck calls, whistles, and various other strange unmusical devices. The pinging noise heard here in "Zombie Nightmare" is no doubt what reminds us of John Cage compositions. This site has plenty of links and other John Cage information.

"That's the CANADIAN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM, Bush warned us about this." - President Bush was against the then-hot idea of adopting a socialized medicine system, like Canada and nearly all European countries have. Basically, socialized medicine ensures getting treatment regardless of your financial situation, but you can't choose your own doctor, and there are various other disadvantages. (We realize that we have seriously oversimplified the matter here, and we invite you to e-mail us and tell us what morons we are.)

"When a CAR HITS A GUY and his body goes fly, that's a dead guy." - Originally, "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore," an Italian-type hit for Dean Martin, who died in 1995.

"Prototype for Richard CARPENTER." - One-half of the '70s cheesy factory pop duo The Carpenters. Brother of Karen Carpenter, who died of anorexia; he is still alive and moderately active in the music scene. The Carpenters had hits with "Sing" and "Close to You," among others. There are several lovely sites devoted to them; here's one here.

Tia CARRERE - Real name: Althea Janairo. Born in Hawaii, she says she's part Hawaiian, part Chinese, part Spanish, part Filipino. She been in a couple dozen movies since the '80s, but none so famous as the "Wayne's World" films of 1992 and 1993. She is in the upcoming "Kull the Conqueror" (1997), and was also in "Rising Sun" (1993) and "High School High" (1996).

"George Romero's CASEY AT THE BAT." - George Romero has done almost everything involved with horror movies: acting, editing, directing, writing, producing, cinematographing -- everything. He generally writes and directs the same movies. He wrote both versions of "Night of the Living Dead" (1968 and 1990) and "Creepshow 2" (1987); directed the original "Night of the Living Dead" and first "Creepshow" (1982), as well as numerous other, less successful, horror flicks. "Casey at the Bat" is a famous poem by Ernest Lawrence Thayer" about an arrogant baseball player who loses the game for his team in the bottom of the ninth. If George Romero were to produce a film version of "Casey at the Bat," it would probably turn out like this.

"Here, try some CHAPS." -

"I just got back from my CHEAP TRICK audition." - This guy looks like he should be in Cheap Trick. The band began in the late '60s under a few other names; they became Cheap Trick in 1973 and toured constantly for the next few years, opening for the Kinks, Kiss, Santana, Journey, and Boston. Their first album was released in 1977 with minimal success in America; however, they became a huge hit in Japan. Their live album, recorded at Budokan in Japan, became a big seller in both countries, with "I Want You to Want Me" becoming their first top ten single. They had hits in 1988 with "The Flame" and "Don't Be Cruel." They're known for being a tongue-in-cheek sort of band. Read all about 'em here.

"I like CHESS, though." - They just mentioned they were glad ABBA's not on the soundtrack, and then this comes. "Chess," a small-scale, off-Broadway-type musical, was written in 1984 by Benny Andersson, Bjorn Alvaeus (both of ABBA) and Tim Rice. Rice has previously and since written the words to practically everything, from "Phantom of the Opera" to parts of "Aladdin." "Chess," the story of love and war in the chess world, features the song "One Night in Bangkok," which got a lot of airplay as sung by the original cast member Murray Head.

"If it's a celebration, why are we at CHI-CHI'S?" - Chain of bar & grill-type places, reasonably priced. We haven't been to one in quite some time, but we have decent memories of the place.

"Fight CHOREOGRAPHY by Dom DeLuise." - See Dom DeLUISE.

"Hi, I'll have a CLOWN BURGER and some fries." -

"The lime in the COCONUT..." - See LIME.

"A Francis Ford COPPOLA production, of a Kenneth Branaugh film, Garrick Utley in Ally Sheedy's 'Frankenstein." - 1994's "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein" was produced by Francis Ford Coppola, and was directed by Kenneth Branaugh (he's the British guy who was married to Emma Thompson who's always doing Shakespeare movies -- "Hamlet," "Much Ado about Nothing," etc.). Of course it should be Mary Shelley (the original author of the novel "Frankenstein"), not Ally Sheedy, who starred in "Short Circuit" (1986), "The Breakfast Club" (1985), and "St. Elmo's Fire" (1985). Garrick Utley is a newsman with NBC.

"John Goodman on Hume CRONYN's back could outrun this guy." - See John GOODMAN.

"Voodoo stuff here, voodoo stuff there, throw in a little CRYSTAL LIGHT." - Crystal Light is a soft drink that you mix yourself. It comes in powder form in a cannister.

"She must have studied under Jamie Lee CURTIS." - Refers to Jamie Lee Curtis's bravura performance as the always-screaming main victim in "Halloween" (1978). She reprised her role in the 1981 sequel, but not in the several subsequent sequels. "Halloween" was sort of the beginning of the genre of teen slasher films, and it was actually quite good, despite the dozens and dozens of terrible knock-offs that have come since.

"I'm going to DAIRY QUEEN from now on." - Ice cream/fast food chain that resembles the hang out shown here. Famous for their Dilly Bars, Peanut Buster Parfaits, and those cool ice cream cones that they turn upside down and dip in chocolate, and yet the ice cream magically doesn't fall out of the cone.

"There's a DEAD HUNK in the middle of the road." - Great line. Originally "there's a dead skunk in the middle of the road," from the 1973 top twenty hit "Dead Skunk" by Loudon Wainwright III. It's a novelty song, from back when pop music was so awful that even a novelty song could make the charts.

"The DEAD ZONE is for loading and unloading only." - Similar to what you hear outside of airports ("the red zone is for loading..."), of course, but also a reference to the movie "The Dead Zone" (1983), starring Christopher Walken as a guy who can tell what will happen to people by touching them.

"Is this 'DEATHMASK' featuring Olivia Newton John?" - "Deathmask" (1984) did not feature Olivia Newton John, but the actress here resembles the Aussie pop singer ("Let's Get Physical" was her big '80s hit).

"Fight choreography by Dom DeLUISE." - Dom DeLuise is the enormous bearded actor best known for being an enormous bearded actor. Probably most familiar from his roles in the dreadful "Cannonball Run" movies with Burt Reynolds (1981, 1984).

"He's being stalked by DEPECHE MODE." - The electronic music on the soundtrack sounds like the British synth-pop group. Now quite gloomy and depressing in their sound, Depeche Mode started out pretty peppy, thanks to the influence of Vince Clarke, who wrote most of their songs before his departure in 1982. ("Just Can't Get Enough," by far their happiest hit, was released in 1981.) Clarke went on to be half of Erasure, the ultra-peppy synth-pop group whose love songs are marred by the knowledge that the two guys are singing about each other. Depeche Mode got their name from a French magazine (it means "fast fashion") that still exists, apparently. Their post-Clarke hits have included "Personal Jesus," "People are People," and "It's no Good." Some good info on the band can be found here.

"This is a DICKENS view of the suburbs." - Charles Dickens, the 19th century English author of "A Christmas Carol," "Oliver Twist," and "Great Expectations" (among lots of others) had a sharp social conscience and often used his books to expose the woeful situation of the working class of the Industrial Age. A "Dickens view" of something, then, is usually dim, exploited and impossible to escape from.

"Bring your DILLY BAR to the car, honey." - Treat available at Dairy Queen, which is what this hang-out joint resembles.

"I'd never touch you, Terry, you're DIRT." - From "Teen-age Crime Wave," which appeared as MST #522. Jane, the supposedly wholesome, goody-good chick, tells another character, "He'd never touch you, Terry, you're dirt." It's true, but it's rather surprising to hear it from Jane.

"It's DONDI, the zombie." - Dondi was a comic strip, begun in 1955, about a war orphan who came to America. A sample of the strip can be seen here.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Frederick DOUGLASS." - Frederick Douglass, an escaped slave, was an active abolitionist and a captivating speaker in the 19th century. His autobiography is considered one of the most important African-American works of that century. The guy here looks a bit like him.

Stand back - "for DUTCH MASTERS!" -

"The EARLY MORNING CALL to voodoo." -

"I think she's going for some kind of ELVIS PATOIS thing." - Technically, "patois" is any non standard or uneducated dialect. Here, though, and in common parlance (not that it's all that common a word), it's used to mean the unusual way of speaking for Jamaican "Rastafarians," heard in the U.S. mostly through reggae music. Here Molly sounds like a cross between Elvis Presley and a Jamaican reggae singer.

ENYA - This New Age-style music sounds like her stuff. Enya is an Irish singer/musician who has sold over 25 million albums worldwide, putting her second only to U2 among best-selling Irish artists. Her "Orinoco Flow" was a number one hit in several countries; "Book of Days" was also quite popular, being featured in the Tom Cruise film "Far and Away" (1992). Her real name is Eithne Ni Bhraonain, an Irish name which translates to Eithne Brennan in English. "Eithne" is pronounced "Enya," more or less, so she chose that name to represent herself. You can read an extensive FAQ all about her here. We recommend -- in fact, we insist -- that you read question 4.6 in this FAQ, where they explain quite logically why, if Enya had really died a few years ago, as is occasionally the rumor, everyone would have heard about it. It's very funny.

"Is this song in ESPERANTO?" - Esperanto began around the turn of the century as an artificial all-purpose language designed to be spoken by everyone, eliminating language barriers, especially in Europe, where all those different countries are so close together. It didn't catch on, obviously, but it still exists and you could probably learn it if you really wanted to.

"ESPN at 3 a.m." - ESPN (the Entertainment and Sports Network) is infamous for showing a lot of stupid quasi-sports, including skateboarding and surfing, and for stretching to fill its programming hours in the middle of the night by using tapes of that day's tennis matches.

"It takes a man to wear Farrah FAWCETT hair." - Farrah Fawcett, also known as Farrah Fawcett Majors while she was married to Lee Majors, was one of the original gals on "Charlie's Angels" (1976-81). She left after a year, despite still owing another year on her contract; it was eventually settled that she would appear in six episodes during the third season. (She no doubt agreed to "settle," since her replacement, Cheryl Ladd, was every bit as popular as she had been, and the show's fans didn't really miss her.) Prior to "Charlie's Angels," Fawcett appeared occasionally in the last several episodes of "I Dream of Jeannie" (1965-70); after "Angels," she starred in many a crappy TV movie. Her "Charlie's Angels" hair, all blond-ish and feathered, looked like this guy's.

"Auditions for the band FEAR." -

"He sounds like Harvey FIERSTEIN." - Harvey Fierstein is a gravelly-voiced Tony award winning actor, writer, and gay activist. He was the over-the-top gay guy in Jeff Goldblum's office in "Independence Day" (1996) -- the one who called his mom and then his therapist when the aliens came.

"Then the FONZ comes in and he goes "Heeeeey." - Arthur "Fonzie" "The Fonz" Fonzarelli was played by Henry Winkler in the rather popular sitcom "Happy Days" (1974-84). He was originally a minor character but became so popular with the show's fans that he was soon the star of the show. Referring to him here is just kind of silly, used as an example of something a bunch of dopey high school kids might be talking about. Leather Tuscadero and Ralph Malph (Donny Most) were characters on the show.

"A Francis Ford Coppola production, of a Kenneth Branaugh film, Garrick Utley in Ally Sheedy's 'FRANKENSTEIN." - See COPPOLA.

"Your typical FREE WEEK at the Y." - That would be the YMCA, or Young Men's Christian Association. Many communities have these institutions available where, for a membership fee, you can engage in swimming, basketball, and various other productive activities. Most have an occasional "free week," too, where non-members can join in and wreck the place.

"Ace FREHLEY has the same kind of business." - Ace Frehley plays lead guitar for Kiss, the '70s rock band that wore the outrageous make-up and was the source of many parents' unfounded fears of Satanism and other miscellaneous evil influences. The idea that he would also raise people from the dead is something that many people would have readily believed 20 years ago. ("Kiss" stands for "Knights in Satan's Service," or at least that's what all the grown-ups said.) Looking back on it, it's hard to imagine a more innocuous and goofy band than Kiss. Ace also designed Kiss's distinctive logo, which they never used in Germany, by the way, because the S's look too much like swastikas, unintentionally. There is, of course, a website devoted to Ace Frehley.

"If that's Leif GARRETT I'm leaving." - Leif Garrett was a '70s teen heartthrob with long, curly hair, though we're told he is now virtually bald. He rocketed to fame in the very short-lived TV show "Three for the Road" (1975) at the age of 14. He appeared in all three "Walking Tall" movies (1973, 1975, and 1977) and several others; in 1977 he became a singer. Most of his stuff was heavily over-dubbed garbage; he had one disco hit, "I Was Made for Dancin'." He performed on "American Bandstand" and was Kristy McNichol's boyfriend Zack on "Family" (1976-80). He also popped up in "The Outsiders" (1983). Learn more about him and other popular male stars of the '70s here.

Why Jimbo? "'Cause I'm GENERATION X, that's why." - "Generation X" is supposed to be people born between about 1965 and 1975 (though both cut-offs change, depending on who you ask). Generations Xers are generally regarded as cynical, jaded, unimpressed, unmotivated, directionless slackers. This characterization is occasionally unfair but also quite often correct. (Mike the Website Guy and Eric are both Generation Xers, so we feel comfortable making this assessment.) Also, most Generation Xers don't like being called Generation Xers, because it's not very cool. Nothing is ever cool enough for us. We read once who came up with the name "Generation X," but we've forgotten it now, and we're too busy slacking off and reading Details magazine to look it up.

"The GIANTS win the penant! The Giants win the penant! The Giants win the penant!" - This was some sportscaster guy, but which sportscaster, and which year, we cannot ascertain.

"GOD BLESS, good night." - Crow's doing an impression of Red Skelton. Molly is dressed rather like a clown in this scene, and Skelton, who had his own comedy/variety TV show from 1951-71 had a clown character that he did frequently.

"John GOODMAN on Hume Cronyn's back could outrun this guy." - John Goodman is best recognized for his role as Dan Conner, Roseanne's husband, on "Roseanne" (1988-97). He also appeared memorably in "Matinee" (1993), "Arachnophobia" (1990), "The Flintstones" (1994), and "Raising Arizona" (1987), and will be seen in the upcoming "Blues Brothers" movie. Hume Cronyn is an old fart, best remembered for his roles in both "Cocoon" movies (1985, 1988). He was seen recently in the made-for-TV remake of "12 Angry Men," and just as a matter of trivia, he co-wrote Alfred Hitchcock's famous "Rope" (1948); that's the one that's made to look like one continuous take from one camera. He was married to fellow old person Jessica Tandy until her death in 1994. The joke here is that Goodman is very fat, and Cronyn is very old.

"She's being followed by Al GORE." - From this angle, Frank looks like Clinton's vice president Al Gore. Known for his stuffiness and lack of personality, Gore was a senator from Tennessee prior to becoming Clinton's running mate in the 1992 election. His wife, Tipper Gore, has long been an activist for "family values" and moral decency-type stuff.

"GRADY, this fall on NBC, 'Hey Fred!'" - Grady, played by Whitman Mayo, was a character on "Sanford and Son" (1972-77). He was Fred Sanford (Redd Foxx)'s friend, approximately as cranky and shiftless as Fred himself. And, as this reference implies, Grady did get his own show, called "Grady," which ran from December 1975 to March 1976. The fellow here looks like Whitman Mayo as Grady.

Her name's Molly - "the HOOPLE." - From '70s rock band Mott the Hoople, which took its name from a novel of the same name. Mott the Hoople influenced Queen, the Clash, and the Sex Pistols, and were the first rock group to perform on Broadway. We don't feel like summarizing their whole career; look at this very thorough website.

"Hey HOSER, take off." - Since the film was made in Canada, and since these guys look so Canadian, we get this reference to Bob & Doug McKenzie. Bob and Doug, played by Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas, were characters on the "SCTV" show (1981-83). "SCTV" stood for Second City Television; most of the performers had come from the Second City comedy troupe. Bob and Doug were your typical Canadians, wearing wool caps and flannel shirts, drinking beer, and saying "eh?" a lot. In many ways, their commentary and rapport were precursors to "Saturday Night Live's" Wayne and Garth of "Wayne's World" several years later. Moranis and Thomas, as Bob and Doug released a film ("Strange Brew," 1983) and an album, both of which were quite popular, especially in their native Canada.

"HOUSEWIFE VIGILANTE." -

"I'm sure strolling at HOWARD BEACH won't be a problem." - Refers to a notorious incident in December 1986, when a group of white teens allegedly chased and beat up three blacks in the normally quiet Queens, New York, community of Howard Beach.

"Doogie HOWSER, detective." - "Doogie Howser, M.D." (1989-93) was about a fictional child prodigy (played by Neil Patrick Harris) who became the nation's youngest doctor at age 16. The joke here is that the police detective looks very young.

"HOW YOU DIDDLY-DOING?" - We "Simpsons" fans love this joke. It's a reference to Ned Flanders, the religious, friendly, over-charitable next-door-neighbor to the Simpson family on Fox's long-running show (1990-present). He speaks in syrupy slang, calling his moustache a "push-broom," or a "soup-strainer," and adds "diddly" to a lot of things. "Hiddly-ho," "Okely dokely," etc. He once referred to the supposedly mistreated Simpson kids as "neglecterinos." From this angle, Adam West looks like him. "The Simpsons" began on "The Tracey Ullman Show" (1987-90), which was the first Fox show to win an Emmy. Created by cartoonist Matt Groening (rhymes with "complaining"), the Simpsons appeared in brief little segments scattered throughout the vignettes on the show. They got their own series later, and began enormously popular. Many parents disliked the show at first because it focused on Bart's juvenile delinquency and frequent swearing. After the first couple season, though, the focus changed to what it is now: very smart social satire and commentary, with Bart serving as just one of literally dozens of characters. Parents who despised the show at first would be well advised to give it another chance now, as it is one of the best shows on television. Eric is pleased to announce that after getting just one more episode, he will have every "Simpsons" episode on tape. Oh, and the best "Simpsons" website is here.

"IN CARS." - From the 1982 song "Cars," by Gary Newman. The keyboard-pop music featured here sounds quite a bit like this song.

"Your own personal JESUS." - It's a 1989 Depeche Mode song. See the DEPECHE MODE entry.

Wait a minute. "Ann JILLIAN's not a real blonde." - Ann Jillian (real name: Ann Nauseda) has appeared in no fewer than 22 made-for-TV movies in the last 15 years. A platinum blonde (yeah, right), she also starred in "It's a Living" (occasionally known as "Making a Living") on ABC in 1980-81 and in syndication in 1982 and 1985-89. Her struggle with breast cancer was dramatized in the 1988 TV movie "The Ann Jillian Story," in which she played herself. As a child, she starred as the mute Ilsa in an hour-long 1963 episode of "The Twilight Zone" (1959-64) called "Mute."

"Is this 'Deathmask' featuring Olivia Newton JOHN?" - See DEATHMASK.

"What about Van JOHNSON?" - Van Johnson was a leading man actor in the '40s, appearing in a buttload of MGM musicals with Esther Williams and June Allyson, among others. He's still around, but has appeared irregularly since the '60s.

Tommy Lee JONES - Women should be angry with this guy, because he's proof that an unattractive man can be considered a "sexy" leading actor, whereas unattractive women only get roles like "Unattractive Woman" or "Dumpy Girl." Have you looked at Tommy Lee Jones's eyebrows? It's a trick question; he has only one, and it extends all the way around his head. Anyway, he's from Texas and is still a rancher in his spare time. He's appeared in several recent big films, including "Men in Black" (1997), "Volcano" (1997), "Batman Forever" (1995) and "The Fugitive" (1993). He also had a role in the early '70s on "One Life to Live." He can be rather snippy to people and rarely grants interviews; those who have worked with him say that he is a "professional" actor, and that as long as those around him act the same way, he has no problems with anyone. But if a director shows up on the set still unsure of what he's trying to accomplish... whoo boy, stand back!

"No you can't be a JUNIOR G-MAN, you palooka." -

"This KANSAS song just makes me so sad." - '70s and '80s rock band, along the lines of Boston, Journey and Foreigner. "Dust in the Wind" (1976) was a major hit for Kansas, from their album "Point of Know Return." Two good Kansas fan sites: one here and one here.

"The zombie drives a K-CAR." -

"Garrison KEILLOR's laughing." - American humorist who this guy looks like. Keillor is best known for his charming little stories about the fictional Lake Wobegon.

"Mod Hair KEN." -

"It's the KIDS IN THE HALL." - The Kids in the Hall were a Canadian comedy troupe, and their self-titled show ran on HBO and CBS from 1989-95. Often compared to Monty Python, their sketches relied heavily on men dressing in drag (like Python, there were no female Kids) and odd, quirky humor. Also like Python, they produced and starred in their own film, playing multiple characters. "Brain Candy" (1996) bombed at the box office, however. The opening credits to their TV show are reminiscent of the scene here -- shots of streets, apparently taken from a moving car.

"Damn, KLINGON language camp is full." - The Klingons were the alien bad guys with odd bumps on their foreheads in the original "Star Trek" series. (On "Star Trek: The Next Generation," Lt. Worf is a Klingon, but he's a good guy.) The Klingons spoke their own language -- "Klingon," they called it -- but of course they were fictional characters. There were no actual people called Klingons; therefore there wasn't actually a Klingon language, right? Well, you'd think so. Various people have actually assembled the language, and you can actually learn it. Yes! Your dreams can be fulfilled! We find this idea rather cute, more fun than obsessive. What we find disturbing is the fact that you can now have your wedding ceremony performed in Klingon, and that they have already translated the Gospel of St. John into Klingon, with the entire Bible being the final goal. Furthermore, according to this website, they are already doing art work of Bible scenes, "from a Star Trek perspective." (What does this mean? Jesus carries a phaser? Noah brings two Romulans on board the ark?) And yes, there really are Klingon language camps you can go to. But please don't.

"Is she playing tennis with KRAFTWERK?" - German synthesizer-rock band; "Autobahn" was one of their songs, from the 1974 album of the same name. Their influence can be heard in other synth-rock bands like Depeche Mode and the Human League. There's way too much information about them here.

"Aren't you Adam West from LADY CHATTERLEY'S LOVER 2?" - Actually, it's "Young Lady Chatterley 2" (1985). It's a sequel to "Young Lady Chatterley," which was based on D.H. Lawrence's famous dirty book "Lady Chatterley's Lover."

"Then the doctor found LADY MACBETH wandering the halls..." - True description of Act 5, Scene 1 in William Shakespeare's "Macbeth." The rather headstrong Lady Macbeth, having urged her husband to kill the king, now feels rather guilty about the whole affair and walks in her sleep. This is the famous "Out, damned spot" scene that you've no doubt heard tell of. The reason for its mention here is obviously just to be silly; however, note that one of these young fellows kills a guy with a dagger in a moment, just the way Macbeth killed the king.

"He did everything in this film, like Michael LANDON." "You mean he's a bedwetter?" -

"All the LEAVES ARE BROWN, and the skies are gray." - Lyrics from "California Dreamin'," a '60s hit for the Mamas and the Papas.

"LEFT A GOOD JOB in the city." - See Tina TURNER.

"The LIME in the coconut..." - A paraphrase from the 1971 Harry Nilsson song "Coconut." In 1968, when the Beatles held a New York news conference to announce the launching of Apple Records, a reporter asked who their favorite American artist was. "Nilsson!" shouted John Lennon.
And who was their favorite American group? "Nilsson!" piped Paul McCartney. Back then, few people knew what a Nilsson was, so the puzzled press had to scramble to learn the Beatles were referring to an L.A. singer-songwriter named Harry Nilsson.

"Is this the LITTLE BOY I carried..." - From "Sunrise, Sunset," a song from "Fiddler on the Roof." The parents are singing wistfully about how they grow up so fast, blah blah blah.

The case is closed. "LONG LIVE THE CASE!" -

"The LONG WALK HOME." - "The Long Walk Home" (1990) starred Sissy Spacek and Whoopi Goldberg, and it was about the changing times of the segregated American South in the '50s.

"Giant, like L.T? Sims? Bavaro?" - See BAVARO.

"Then Leather Tuscadero comes in with Ralph MALPH." - See FONZ.

MANOS - The music here reminds one of the haunting "Torgo" theme from "Manos the Hands of Fate" (MST #424). You can hear that music by going to our "Manos" page.

"MARINERS opening day." - No one's there, get it? The Seattle Mariners baseball team is infamous for being a lackluster team, with lackluster attendance.

"What is up with MARK TRAIL?!" - Drawn by Jack Elrod, Mark Trail is an adventurous outdoors-type guy who goes around doing stuff. We don't know, we never read it.

"Andrea MARTIN is in mourning." - Andrea Martin is in the new sitcom "Life and Stuff" (which, by the way, was the original title of "Roseanne," before it ever went into production). She is best remembered, though, for being part of "SCTV" (1981-83)

Ted McGINLEY - Ted McGinley is most recognizable for two TV roles: Roger Phillips, Mrs. Cunningham's Harvard-educated, rather snooty nephew on "Happy Days" (1974-84) from 1980 84; and as the Bundys next-door-neighbor Jefferson D'Arcy on "Married...with Children" (1987 97) beginning in 1991.

"The Anne MEARA of Canada." - Anne Meara is the wife of Jerry Stiller (George's dad on "Seinfeld") and mother of Ben Stiller ("Reality Bites," "The Ben Stiller Show"). She's had roles in "Rhoda," "Archie Bunker's Place" and "ALF," and was in the "Fame" movie (1980). We're unsure as to the reason for the reference here.

"This is where she keeps MEATLOAF." -

"MENTOS, the Freshmaker." - European candy made famous in this country by its cheesy, stupid commercials in which young people do ingenious things in the face of Authority, chomping Mentos all the way. For a very amusing summary of all the Mentos commercial plots, go here. The situation here in "Zombie Nightmare" is somewhat reminiscent of a Mentos commercial, and the characters, being all teen-agey, look like Mentos people.

"Larry MONDELLO as the Babe." -

"Tia, it's still better than working with Mike MYERS." - Mike Myers, a Canadian, got his start on "Saturday Night Live" (1975-present) in 1988 and 1989 as an "also appearing" cast member. He became a full-fledged regular after that and stayed with the show until 1995. He is best known for creating the "Wayne's World" characters Wayne and Garth (the latter played by Dana Carvey), two Illinois teens who produced their own cable access show. The characters appeared in numerous sketches in the early '90s, and the concept was made into two films, in 1992 and 1993. Tia Carrere co-starred in the first "Wayne's World" film, which is what this line refers to. Myers also starred in "So I Married an Axe Murderer" (1993) and the recent "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery" (1997).

"Your MYSTERY DATE" - Old kids' board game "Your Mystery Date" involved, at various points in the game, opening a little door and seeing the picture of who your "date" was going to be -- the captain of the football team, or whoever.

"That's an odd NATIVITY SCENE." - A traditional nativity scene features Joseph and the Virgin Mary kneeling, standing, or crouching near the manger containing newborn baby Jesus. Sometimes there are barnyard animals around, or Wise Men, or shepherds. The picture here really does look like a nativity scene.

"Hal NEEDHAM was brought in to direct this scene." - Hal Needham is best known for directing the "Cannonball Run" movies (1981, 1984) and the first two "Smokey and the Bandit" films (1977, 1980), which were all full of car chases and expert driving. He used to be a stuntman before becoming a director, hence his interest in that sort of thing.

"They say the NEON LIGHTS are bright..." - Lyric from "On Broadway" (that's the next phrase, in fact), from the 1979 film "All That Jazz." Accompanies images of, well, neon lights, and all the excitement of Broadway. Used here sarcastically, of course, as lame-brained, pokey little Canadian town is being presented so juicily.

"He's doing the NESTEA plunge!" - Instant iced tea drink Nestea had commercials several years ago that featured people falling backwards into swimming pools. We can't recall exactly what the reasoning behind this was, but we vividly recall women falling in slow-motion. Eric also vividly recalls doing it himself in a swimming pool and experiencing the pain of what was essentially a "back-flop." Perhaps being in slow-motion prevented the women in the commercials from being hurt.

"She must be from NEWFOUNDLAND." - The joke here is probably in reference to that fact that the film takes place in Canada, and Newfoundland is part of Canada, but is also somewhat separated from it, in culture and geography. We don't know anyone from Newfoundland, but we suspect the accent is also different from your average Canadian accent; sort of the equivalent of the Deep South in the United States, dialect-wise. Molly is speaking unintelligibly in this scene, thus inspiring the comment.

"I never do anything NICE AND EASY." - See Tina TURNER.

"I could have worked with NICHOLSON." - See Tim BURTON. Jack Nicholson wound up playing the Joker in "Batman" (1989); had Adam West been chosen to play the title role, he would have been able to work with Nicholson.

"Hey, Conan O'BRIEN." - The cop looks like him. Conan, a Harvard graduate, became famous when he was chosen as David Letterman's successor on NBC's "Late Night." Lorne Michaels, "Saturday Night Live" producer and all-around comedy big-wig, chose him, and many doubted his judgment. Conan is tall, lanky, and seemed ill-at-ease on camera; indeed, he had done little work on stage before. He took over the show in Fall 1993 and didn't have very good results. At some point, though, things really took off and now his show is one of the best talk shows around. It's very inventive and clever these days. (Eric liked the show right from the start, and he's glad to be vindicated at last.) Prior to his "Late Night" gig, Conan had worked as a writer and occasional extra on "Saturday Night Live," and, most recently, as a writer and producer at "The Simpsons." (He wrote the episode in which Homer goes back to college and becomes friends with the nerds, and the one in which Springfield gets a monorail.)

"Now Chief O'HARA..." - Character on "Batman" (1966-68) whom Adam West, as Batman, often dealt with. See Adam WEST.

"Jack PALANCE fights back." - He looks like him. Jack Palance (real name: Walter Jack Palanuik) has been in nearly 100 movies, very few of them any good. He's been in two MST films: "Outlaw" (#519) and "Angels' Revenge" (#622). He was nominated for an Oscar for his role in "Shane" (1953) and "Sudden Attack" (1952), and won an Oscar for playing Curly in "City Slickers" (1990). He also appeared in "Requiem for a Heavyweight" (1956), the famous Rod Serling-written TV drama. And, of course, he hosted "Ripley's Believe It or Not" (1982-86). At the 1991 Academy Awards, he did one-arm push-ups, causing host Billy Crystal to make about a thousand jokes afterwards about Palance's verility.

"Come on, PARASAIL, jet ski!" - Molly is acting all Jamaican; these are things typical of what you here the people say if you take a vacation to Jamaica. They won't let you sit still; they want to take your money while you enjoy all the recreational activities Jamaica has to offer.

"Let's follow our hero as he drives down to PAYLESS SHOES." - Chain of low-priced shoe stores. "You could pay more, but why?" is their slogan. Used here because going down to Payless Shoes isn't a very exciting activity.

"Why it's a perfectly good PEANUT BUSTER PARFAIT." - An item available at your local Dairy Queen, which this fast food joint sort of resembles.

"They're talking to the PENGUIN?" - He sounds a lot like the Penguin, as played by Burgess Meredith on the original "Batman" series (1966-68).

"A young Joe PEPATONE ponders his fate." -

"He kind of looks like Michelle PFEIFFER." - Indeed. Michelle Pfeiffer is an attractive actress and one of Hollywood's more successful, consistent leading ladies -- she hasn't starred in too many lousy movies, as have so many others (Julia Roberts, Demi Moore, etc.). Some of her more well-known films include "The Witches of Eastwick" (1987), "Dangerous Liaisons" (1988), "The Fabulous Baker Boys" (1989), "Dangerous Minds" (1995), and "Up Close and Personal" (1996).

"Look at all the candles, what'd they do, loot PIER 1?" - Chain of stores specializing in home furnishings and wicker stuff. They have over 700 locations worldwide, and their primary interest is importing things. The reference here to the candles is accurate: Pier 1, according to their website, is the world's largest importer of rattan, brass and candles.

"The man is a PIG." -

"Miss Jane PITTMAN!" - A fictional 110-year-old slave whose memories constituted the book "The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman" by Ernest J. Gaines. It was made into a 1974 TV movie starring Cicely Tyson. We're guessing that it's Miss Jane Pittman's extreme age that inspired the reference here.

"The ghetto of PLEASANT VALLEY ACRES." -

"Motorhead, I have their new collection of Cole PORTER tunes." - Cole Porter (1892-1964) is one of the best song-writers America has ever produced, writing such classics as "Begin the Beguine," "Night and Day," and "I Love Paris," among dozens of others. He wrote scores for numerous Broadway musicals ("Anything Goes" in 1934 and "Kiss Me, Kate" in 1948, for example) and films. His music and lyrics tended to be intelligent, witty, and full of great rhymes. Motorhead is a heavy metal band, obviously, and the irony is self-explanatory.

"PRIDE OF THE ZOMBIES." - Originally "Pride of the Yankees," the 1942 film about the life of baseballer Lou Gehrig.

"This scene was cut from 'The PROGRAM'." - 1993 film about the perils of the rigorous college football institution. Of note in particular is the scene that actually was cut from "The Program," a few weeks after it was released: Some of the college kids lie down on the yellow line in the middle of a busy street, letting the cars wizz past them on either side. Some real-life stupid kids allegedly did the same thing, trying to imitate "The Program," and got killed.

"There you go, Joe Weider's PROTEIN BLAST." - Joe Weider is a famous body-builder, health and-fitness guy. "Muscle & Fitness" magazine is part of his Weider Health & Fitness empire.

James Earl RAY - The man convicted of assassinating Martin Luther King, Jr., in 1968. Some have suspected that there were co-conspirators involved as well, but none have ever been charged.

Maybe he has a great batting average. "But it's the RBIs that count, isn't it?" - That's "Runs Batted In." It's an ongoing debate among baseball fans which is more important: A player's batting average (that is, the percentage of times he's at bat that he gets on base) or his RBIs (that is, the number of runs that score as a result of his being at bat). We won't even try to settle the issue here.

"Think this speaks for a whole generation like REALITY BITES, or The Big Chill?" - See BIG CHILL.

"She did one too many REDDI-WHIP hits." - Reddi-Whip is a brand of whipped cream used primarily in restaurants. It comes in a can, and you squeeze the nozzle at the top to squirt the stuff out. It's quite a bit of fun to squirt it directly into your mouth, and when Eric used to work at Denny's, some of his delinquent co-workers would go in the back and get high off the propellant at the very bottom of the can, after all the whipped cream has come out.

"Her name is RIO, and she dances..." - From Duran Duran's 1982 hit "Rio." Something about this shot reminds our pals of that song, or the video, or the group; we're unsure what. First we thought it was the fog, but that's more like "Hungry Like the Wolf," another early '80s Duran Duran song.

"Goodbye Cesar ROMERO." - Cesar Romero played the Joker on the old "Batman" series (1966 68).

"George ROMERO's Casey at the Bat." - See CASEY AT THE BAT.

"Hi, I'm a SAMARITAN, can I do anything?" - Refers to the parable told by Jesus in the Bible, commonly known as the parable of the Good Samaritan. Has to do with a Jew who gets beaten and robbed and left for dead. Two guys who should help -- priests, that sort of thing -- walk past and ignore him. A third guy comes by, a Samaritan (the Jews hated the Samaritans and thought of them as second-class citizens at best) and helps the victim.

"What would you do if I SANG OUT OF TUNE, would you stand up and walk out on me." - Line from "With a Little Help from My Friends," by Joe Cocker. This song was heard over the opening credits of TV's "The Wonder Years." Cocker would stumble and lurch around when he sang, much like our hero here is doing.

"Adam worked for SCALE in this film because he wanted to work with this director." - Scale is a few hundred dollars a day, and it's what no-name actors get paid for working in a film. Occasionally, big-name actors will actually work for scale, or for some other very small fee, just so they can be part of a project they really believe in. Sylvester Stallone, Robert DeNiro and Harvey Keitel all did some kind of deal like that for the recent "Copland."

"We've taken the SEARS AUTO CENTER waiting room and turned it into headquarters." -

"This is just like 'A SEPARATE PEACE,' except they didn't leave the dead guy in the street." - It is sort of like it. "A Separate Peace," by John Knowles, was published in 1959 and has been assigned to high school students to read ever since. Somehow neither of us slipped by without ever reading it, so we have to rely on Internet plot summaries to confirm that indeed, there is some sort of accident in "A Separate Peace" that is similar to the situation in "Zombie Nightmare."

"A Francis Ford Coppola production of a Kenneth Branaugh film, Garrick Utley in Ally SHEEDY's 'Frankenstein." - See COPPOLA.

"She's dressed for ladies night at SHENANIGANS." -

"I used to get lit with Brooke SHIELDS a lot." - Brooke Shields is currently the star of the paralyzingly unfunny "Suddenly Susan" on NBC. She's been in a bunch of movies... let's see... any good ones? Um, no. Well, "Blue Lagoon" (1980), if you count that. (During filming, her hair had to be glued to her breasts, by the way, to make sure nothing showed.) Famous for her virginity, she married tennis pro Andre Agassi in Spring 1997 and is probably not a virgin anymore. She began life as a spokesgal for Ivory soap commercials.

"Giant, like L.T? SIMS? Bavaro?" - See BAVARO.

"This is from that new SINATRA album." - Probably refers to the album old-time crooner Frank Sinatra did recently in which he sings duets with unusual folks, including U2's Bono and other rock musicians.

"I think that was a SINGLE-ENTENDRE." - A "double-entendre" (French for "double meaning") is a word or phrase with two meanings, one of which is dirty or otherwise inappropriate. Our dictionary gives this example: "A nudist camp is a place where men and women meet to air their differences." (Get it?!) Double-entendres tend to be sly, witty, and subtle; this guy's overtly sexual advances obviously have no hidden meaning -- he's saying exactly what he means, and not trying to hide it.

"He put on a SKORT." - Combination skirt/shorts, worn by ladies. And this guy.

"SLOW RIDE..." -

"SMALL TOWN GIRL on a Saturday night." - Line from "Maniac," a 1983 Michael Sembello hit from the film "Flashdance." We believe it is our beefy hero's resemblance to the dancer in "Flashdance" that inspired this comment.

"SOME ENCHANTED EVENING" - Song from the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical "South Pacific." Used here just to be silly, 'cause a zombie wouldn't usually sing old showtunes like that.

"You SPIN ME right around baby, right around, like a record baby..." - Molly looks like the lead singer in British techno group Dead or Alive, who had a hit in 1988 with this song ("You Spin Me Round [Like a Record]), and then were never heard from again.

"Help me, SPOCK!" - From some as-yet undetermined "Star Trek" (1966-69) episode, in which William Shatner's Captain Kirk is moaning for help from Leonard Nimoy's Spock.

"Start SPREADING NEWS" - "Start spreading the news" are the first lines to "New York, New York," the old song used prominently in the 1977 Liza Minnelli film of the same name. The song has become a standard for "vocalists" (Minnelli, Streisand, Midler, those kinds of people), and it's used here just for silliness' sake.

She claims it was the Jolly Green Giant - "Frankly I think it was SPROUT." - Both animated characters in the Green Giant frozen foods commercials. The Jolly Green Giant is an enormous fellow, and sprout is his little buddy.

"In the words of David STEIN, Vooda, Vooda." -

"ST. ELMO'S FIRE!" - 1985 film starring Rob Lower, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy, Andrew McCarthy, and many more; often compared to "The Big Chill" and "The Breakfast Club." Has to do with recent college grads trying to make it in the real world. No doubt the large assemblage of shiftless teenagers reminded them of "St. Elmo's Fire."

"Hey STEVE, Robbie's upstairs, he's tied Chip to the bed with Dodie's nylons." - It looks like the house on "My Three Sons" (1960-72), the second-longest-running sitcom ever (right behind "Ozzie and Harriet"). Steve was Steve Douglas, the widower played by Fred MacMurray who was star of the show; Robbie (Don Grady) and Chip (Stanley Livingston) were two of his sons. Dodie (Dawn Lyn) was the young daughter of Steve's new wife Barbara (Beverly Garland), whom he married in 1969. The person allegedly speaking here would be either William Frawley as grandpa Bub, or William Demarest as uncle Charley.

"STEVE I followed you to work, you don't really work for a missile plant, Steve put the gun down..." - See previous entry for more "My Three Sons" details. Steve was an aerodynamics engineer.

"It's Tommy STINSON, only heavier." - Formerly of rock group The Replacements, then of the short-lived Bash And Pop, Tommy Stinson is now the frontman for a group called Perfect, whose first album has just been released. We'll have to take our MST pals' word for it that this guy looks like Tommy, as we've never seen him. You can read more about Perfect here, though.

"They call him Sly STONE." -

"Man, that Barbra STREISAND concert was great." - The biggest-selling female solo artist of all time, Barbra Streisand has had nothing but success since her debut on Broadway in 1962's "I Can Get It for You Wholesale." Her first album came out the next year, and the year after that, she starred in "Funny Girl." (She was nominated for Tonys for both of these first two stage performances.) More hit albums and shows followed, and her concerts are nowadays huge "events," with expensive, impossible-to-get tickets. She is a very active liberal-minded political gal, sponsoring numerous events and donating a lot of money to many charities. A nice fan produced website is here.

"STROKE ME, stroke me" -

"Ironically, they wind up busting the zombie for TAX EVASION." - Refers to the notorious gangster Al Capone, responsible for a great deal of organized crime, gambling, prostitution and illegal alcohol in Chicago in the '20s. Despite all his many nefarious deeds, the thing that he actually went to prison for was tax evasion.

"Meanwhile, at an Elka Ramsey TECHNICAL COLLEGE." -

"Can I have a TENETIAN TREAT?" -

"This is the scene they always show on THAT'S HOLLYWOOD!, with Tom Bosley, as Tom Bosley." - Tom Bosley was the narrator of "That's Hollywood!", a syndicated series (1977-80) that showed film clips from the vast 20th Century Fox archives.

"He's got a real Scott THORSON quality." -

"The THREE FACES OF STEVE." - "The Three Faces of Eve" (1957) starred Joanne Woodward as a woman with multiple personalities and three separate lives. Perhaps it is Adam West's odd private flashbacks that inspire this remark.

"Alright, hand over the TOBLERONE." -

"Not since the eating scene in 'TOM JONES' has a movie been so rife with sensuality." - "Tom Jones" (1963), starring Albert Finney, is about a guy's rather bawdy and randy experiences in 18th-century England. It actually has some very sexy scenes, including one involving eating.

"TOUGHSKINS." - Brand of jeans. The commercials, as is the case with most jeans commercials, feature plenty of shots of guys' butts.

"Bodybuilder by day, TRAPPIST MONK by night." - Trappist monks are an order of Roman Catholic priets, begun in France in 1664. They practice very strict monastacism -- little food, no meat, silence, etc. Our hero's putting the hood over his head is what seems reminiscent of a trappist monk.

Tina TURNER - Tina Turner (real name: Anna Mae Bullock), a Tennessee native, first became famous when she and her husband, Ike, had a string of R&B and pop hits in the late '60s and early '70s. Among them was "Proud Mary," which features the line used in this episode, "Left a good job in the city," later covered by Creedence Clearwater Revival." Ike was an abusive, demanding husband -- it was he who instisted she change her name to something more showbiz-like -- and on the day of the U.S. Bicentennial, July 4, 1976, she left him after 17 years of marriage. They were legally divorced two years later, and she now has absolutely no contact with him. Their story was dramatized in "What's Love Got to Do with It?" (1993). Tina, who is Buddhist by the way, eventually re-started her own career, and had a smash hit in 1984 with her "Private Dancer" album. Her biggest hits have included "What's Love Got to Do with It?", "Better be Good to Me," and "We Don't Need another Hero." She has sold over 50 million albums worldwide and still has an excellent body, despite being well into her 50s. Read all about her here.

"Then Leather TUSCADERO comes in with Ralph Malph." - See FONZ.

My religion forbids inter-species mating. "So she's not a UNITARIAN." - Officially the Unitarian Universalist Association, the Unitarians are marked by the fact that they don't necessarily believe in anything. They have their roots in Christianity (but reject the notion of the Trinity), but are completely non-denominational. There is no official doctrine or dogma in the religion; pretty much all that unites them is a basic belief in a Supreme Being, although we doubt they would kick you out if you were an atheist, because their other main characteristic is being completely tolerant of all religious or non-religious systems. In other words, since the Unitarians don't forbid anything, like most religions do, you could engage in inter-species mating and still be a member in good standing, though we suspect even the tolerant Unitarians might look at you funny.

"A Francis Ford Coppola production, of a Kenneth Branaugh film, Garrick UTLEY in Ally Sheedy's 'Frankenstein." - See COPPOLA.

"The editorial staff at the UTNEY READER." -

"U2 tickets are on sale." - Up until recently, the Irish rock group U2 were quite the thing. They're still considered the most popular rock band in the world, but their 1997 "PopMart" tour flopped in many areas, with some shows being cancelled due to lack of ticket sales. The fact that tickets were usually around $50 a pop may have influenced this. Beginning in the 1980s, U2 has had one hit after another, including "Where the Streets Have No Names," "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking for," "Staring at the Sun," "With or Without You," and "One."

Eddie VAN HALEN - Guitarist and keyboardist for Van Halen, the durable rock and roll band that's been doing rock and roll ever since the late '70s, when rock and roll was pretty much all crap. Van Halen has had hits with "Jump," "Right Now," "Panama," "Love Walks In," others. David Lee Roth was the first vocalist; he left in the mid-'80s to pursue a solo career ("California Girls" and "Just a Giggolo" were pretty much his only real hits) and was replaced by Sammy Hagar. Sammy lasted until 1996, when he was apparently fired, briefly replaced by Roth, and then by Gary Cherone, from Extreme. Much has been said about this change in personnel, with Van Halen saying one thing and Hagar saying another. Eddie Van Halen looks a lot like the guy in "Zombie Nightmare." Read all about him here.

"Ever since VATICAN TWO, they've really loosened this." - Vatican II was the common name for the Second Vatican Council, a 1962-65 assembly of all Roman Catholic Bishops, the result of which was a serious loosening-up and modernization of Catholic practices. Masses could now be read in English instead of Latin, for example. Since Molly's dead-raising activities sort of resemble a religious ritual, the connection is a natural one.

"This spot reserved for VIPER." -

"Do that VOODOO..."

"Marcia WALLACE in the stands today, and here's George Wendt, he's batting .210." - The woman shown there looks like Marcia Wallace, who first became famous for her role as Carol the receptionist on "The Bob Newhart Show" (1972-78). She can currently be heard occasionally as the voice of Mrs. Edna Krabappel, Bart's fourth-grade teacher, on "The Simpsons." George Wendt is best known for his role as the fat barfly Norm Peterson on "Cheers" (1982-93). He got his own show, "The George Wendt Show," in 1995; it lasted about a month.

"I'll call Burt WARD, I know he's not busy." - It's funny because it's true. Burt Ward played Dick Grayson/Robin on "Batman" (1966-68), co-starring with Adam West as Bruce Wayne/Batman.

"You WASCALLY WABBIT." - That's what the linguistically impaired Elmer Fudd called Bugs Bunny in many Warner Bros. cartoons of the '30s, '40s and '50s. Molly sounds like Elmer while she's doing her little chants.

"WATCHTOWER!" - Publication of the Jehovah's Witnesses organization, begun in 1872 under Charles Taze Russell. They are most commonly known for their zealous door-to-door proselyting, during which they would love to give you a copy of "Watchtower." Learn all about 'em at their official website.

"What's Charlie WATTS doing in there?" - One of the guys in the picture looks like Charlie Watts, long-time drummer for the Rolling Stones.

"There you go, Joe WEIDER's protein blast." - See PROTEIN BLAST.

"They live at Marcus WELBY's house?" - Robert Young starred in "Marcus Welby, M.D." (1969 75), a popular medical drama. This was the first ABC show to top the Nielsen ratings, doing so in the 1970-71 season. The house shown here does indeed look like Marcus Welby's house.

"Marcia Wallace in the stands today, and here's George WENDT, he's batting .210." - See Marcia WALLACE

Adam WEST - Ah, Adam West. (Real name: William Anderson.) He will forever be known as Batman, from the campy '60s TV series, and he seems fairly content with that reputation; he was publicly peeved at not being chosen to play the Caped Crusader in Tim Burton's 1989 big-screen remake. He has appeared in such un-noteworthy films as "Gaywatch" (1996, a parody of "Baywatch" that we don't even WANT to see), "Night of the Kickfighters" (1991), "The Happy Hooker Goes to Washington" (1977), and "Robinson Crusoe on Mars" (1964), not to mention "Zombie Nightmare" (1986). No doubt the best movie he ever appeared in was "The Young Philadelphians" (1959), referred to elsewhere in this episode. West has appeared many times on TV series, usually parodying himself (as in the great "Simpsons" episode "Mr. Plow").

"WHAT'S THIS?" - Spoken often by the announcer on "Batman" (1966-68), usually at the end of the episode when Batman and Robin were in some kind of terrible trouble. Usually went along these alliterative lines: "What's this? The dynamic duo devoured by hungry hippos?" You get the idea. Used here because it's our first shot of Adam West, former "Batman" star.

"WOKE UP, fell out of bed, dragged a comb across my head." - Lyrics from "A Day in the Life," from the Beatles' "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" album.

"She's resurrecting Neil YOUNG." - All that stringy hair makes Mr. Zombie look like Neil Young, now considered the Godfather (or Grandfather) of Grunge music. He is currently touring with the summer H.O.R.D.E. festival, along with all the big '90s alternative rock groups. Neil started out with Buffalo Springfield in the '60s, then had his own band Crazy Horse, and did quite a bit of work with Crosby, Stills & Nash (they were Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young when he was with them). He recorded duets with Pearl Jam earlier in the '90s and is still considered quite hip, despite having been in the rock business for 30 years. See lots of stuff about him here.

"Wait'll my YOUNG LIFE meeting hears about this." - Young Life is a non-denominational Christian group for high school kids. They go on campouts, have sing-alongs, do skits, save people's souls, etc. They have a links page that can direct you pretty much anywhere you want to go in the Young Life world.

"Snapshot of Adam and the YOUNG PHILADELPHIANS." - "The Young Philadelphians" (1959) was a film starring Paul Newman, Barbara Rush, Robert Vaughn, Brian Keith, and Adam West, among others. It's about a lawyer who tries to woo a high-society gal, and the guy the lawyer defends on a murder charge. Probably the best movie Adam West was ever in.

"YO-YO MA goes camping." - Yo-Yo Ma was born in Paris in 1955 but is now considered an "American" cellist. And a darned fine one, too. He studied at the Julliard School of Music and at Harvard and won numerous awards as a youth.